The True Account of the Interrupted Shower

It is my custom to get up when one of the children wakes me. I usually greet the early riser, start the coffee, and begin getting breakfast ready.

Sometime after that, I make my way to the shower to get myself ready for the day.

Inevitably, a toddler needs to be zipped or buttoned and sees no reason why I should object to doing it while rinsing my hair. Next comes a preschooler wanting to know what e-n-v-i-r-o-n-m-e-n-t spells and will I draw a picture of an elephant for her, “Here is a purple crayon.”

On and on it goes until I ask kindly, “Will the 5 of you please leave the bathroom so I can dry off in private?”

One day, I don’t know what got into me, but I decided to lock the bathroom door and enjoy a shower with no interruptions, or so I thought.

No sooner had I stepped in than I heard a banging on the door and muffled shouts. “WHAT?” I said over the sound of the water and the space heater. “Ruh ruruh ruh ruuuuh,” the voice repeated. (Think: Charlie Brown’s teacher) I still couldn’t make out the words, but I recognized that it was my oldest daughter. “I can’t hear you. Tell me when I get out,” I said and continued exfoliating. Bang! Bang! Bang! “RUH RURUH RUH RUUUUH!” the voice said even louder than before. I decided to ignore the banging and thought that whatever it was could wait until I got out.

Then, I started thinking, “Oldest Daughter is the last one I would expect to bother me with something insignificant. It must be something important, and that muffled shouting sounded a lot like, ‘The refrigerator has fallen over and the baby is trapped inside!‘”

Even though I had only started to wash my hair, I was sure by now that one of those mumbled words I heard was definitely “refrigerator”, and I was certain that Oldest Daughter would not be banging in such a manner unless it was an emergency.

By this time, I was frantically reaching for a towel, and I had noticed the banging had stopped.

“At least she’s gone back in there to try to help the best she can, ” I consoled myself as I rushed out of the bathroom soaking wet. I ran into the kitchen. “What happened? Is everything OK? Where is she?” I panted.

“Huh?” they said eloquently, in unison.

All the children were quietly sitting around the table eating their breakfasts looking at me in genuine confusion. The refrigerator was in its upright position.

“What was all that banging about? I thought there was an emergency.” By this time there was a puddle of suds around my feet.

“Oh,” said Oldest Daughter, “I wanted to know if I could start a worm farm.”

Oh. No. She. Di’int.

My eyelids squinted half shut and through clenched teeth, in monotone, I asked, “Right now?”

I no longer lock the bathroom door.

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Comments

  1. (Jim &) Brandy Brow says:

    LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!

    I SOOOO relate.

    Brandy of The Building Brows

  2. THAT is a great (and all-too-familiar) story!

    I, too, no longer lock the bathroom door!

    (Jumped over from Carmon’s – glad I did…the levity for the night was good for me!)

    ~Karen in WA

  3. ROTFL!! I SO can relate! No lock on our bathroom door, but whenever the bedroom door is shut and locked, it’s like a signal for everyone to need something RIGHT. NOW.

  4. Oh yes, I have been there. I have 6 and always end up with someone in the shower with me, have to turn the hot water down, wash someone other than me, and answer questions about why I am shaving my legs.

  5. ROFLOL We have 6. I can so relate.

  6. Love this! My two-year old has decided that anytime anyone is taking a bath or shower, she must also take one. So, I only get private showers when I’m at the gym or home alone. :-)

  7. I no longer lock the bathroom door because its pointless–my five year old somehow taught himself how to pick the lock…………..

  8. I LOVE this. I have a lot of learning and living to do still but currently, just with my ONE child I experience this same craziness during shower time! I linked to you today, I hope that is alright. :)

  9. Kristin says:

    I gave up on the idea of locking the bathroom door quite some time ago. I had too many experiences with having to get out of the shower mid-shampoo for something utterly ridiculous. Recently I have been debating the sanity of this choice, however, since our two-year-old learned to open the door himself. He proudly marches in each morning, pulls back the shower curtain, causing the floor to get wet, to announce, “Momma, water! Maybe an intercom system would solve this problem! Lol.

  10. Melissa Belle says:

    LOL to funny!!

  11. Honestly. That is the funniest thing. Ever. ;)

  12. I laughed so hard reading this! I don’t even bother to shut the door half the time I’m in the bathroom, let alone LOCK it. (And, if any of you decide to randomly stop by my house for a visit, please knock and wait for me to come answer the door before letting yourselves in) You’re right, it definitely sounded like she said something about the refrigerator falling over and trapping the baby. I would’ve done the same thing.
    I wrote about a similar scenario a few days ago: http://supermommyornot.blogspot.com/2011/11/few-moments-of-peace.html

  13. I don’t lock the bathroom door but it’s because we changed the knob so that it doesn’t lock. I was traumatized by accidentally locking myself in the bathroom when I was a child. Then when my boy was little he accidentally did the same thing and it traumatized me, too.
    I do have a trick, though. If you close the door and open the bottom drawer on the vanity, it will not let the door open.

  14. Janice Nelson says:

    I am literally laughing OUT LOUD. Because I can relate. In my house, I cannot leave the door locked because the bathroom holds the only working toilet in the house, and that would certainly mean trouble!

  15. I LOCK it! We teach our children that they do NOT come in unless someone is barfing up lung or the house is on fire! It doesn’t keep them from trying to talk to me through the door, however. But at least I don’t have to worry about the shower curtain flying open! :)

  16. Oh my goodness. That made me laugh so hard!!! Love it. I sometimes lock, sometimes don’t…but one of the six always interrupts the shower time each day no matter what..

  17. Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh! I never lock the door. But, I seem to call them in to do something for me ~ tell their brother to quit screaming, bring me a bar of soap, or other such nonsense! But, I hate it when they barge in without being called. SO RUDE. I don’t do it to them :D

  18. I don’t lock my door either…with three there is always a need for something during my shower…Plus, I locked the door one time and when I stepped out the bathrrom I stepped into something wet…I knew my son was banging at the door, but it wasn’t until I realized he peed all over the floor as to why he was banging on the door.

  19. LOL. I try to take my shower at night once my boys are in bed. Otherwise complete chaos ensues when I try to get clean.

  20. Yes, I have decided that instead of calling my children to me for chores and such I will just go to the bathroom, or try to sit down and read a book while munching some hidden chocolate. They will surely find me! LOL I too have nightmarish visions of what is happening when I shower. I either take the 4yo in with a toy or wait until another adult is present. Still I don’t lock the door! So glad the fridge was in the upright position, though! :)

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  1. [...] was just reading some of Smockity Frocks “best of” posts and came across one about “the interrupted shower.” Couldn’t be truer than if it was written in stone!  And I just have one child… [...]

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