**Click here for The Give Away Extravaganza!! Hurry! The drawing is tomorrow!
I have great news, everyone! I have it on good authority that the baby I am carrying is a boy.
You might be thinking that I must have had one of those fancy, high tech, 4D sonograms, but oh no. This here is the method used Back In The Day to determine a baby’s gender.
You see, today, I ran into a sweet, elderly lady from church, and SHE said that she is positive I am having a boy. How does she know? You ask.
According to this lady, if you are having a boy, you get bigger in the BEE-hind. No, not “behind”. Say it with me now. BEE-hind.
This is Texas, y’all. You have to know where to place your emphasis.
Anyway. Wasn’t it sweet of her to point out that I’m looking, you know, larger than life? What a relief. Here I was thinking that someone had strapped a fanny pack on me without my knowledge. It’s good to know that it is just a boy. A very robust baby boy.
And can I just observe that I must walk around with a look on my face that compels people to tell me exactly what they think about me, from my lifestyle to my reproductive habits to my BEE-hind? Where can I learn the look that says, “I want to be friendly, but please hold back. I can’t take too much honesty.”?
I told her that, interestingly, I always get bigger in the BEE-hind, and I have had 5 girls.
She didn’t care. She is sure that this time it is a boy. Judging from the BEE-hind method, and all.