Today is a sad, sad day in our bathroom, the end of an era, if you will. We have finally opened the last bar of soap from a huge stockpile I scored when our local Albertson’s went out of business.
It happened in the Summer of Aught Six, I remember it like it was yesterday. Our small town of around 20,000 had a fairly new United Supermarket and had recently added a WalMart Supercenter. The latter had pretty much sealed the fate of the old Albertson’s. It was only a matter of time before the old girl bought the farm, so to speak, and you better believe I was living in anticipation of that glorious day.
It finally came. One dry, dusty day, a banner on the store front announced that the store was going out of business. Oh, jubilee! I was in ecstasies!
At first, the banner announced 50% off sales, but those were for the amateurs. I let those hapless souls glory in their meager savings and bided my time whittlin’ toilet paper out of fallen tree branches until the REAL deals began.
I made sure I drove past the store frequently to check the banner, and the day at last arrived when it announced, “Store Closeout 95% Off”. I left the kids at home with the in-laws who were in town and made my way to the store.
Upon entering, I saw that all the merchandise that was left had been collected and put on 3 or 4 front aisles. The rest of the store was empty. It looked bigger than I had remembered and had a lonesome, sad feeling to it. Never you mind that, though, there were bargains to be gotten, so I grabbed a buggy and started down the first aisle.
As I was perusing the Thai spices that I had never even heard of, I heard one of the other cheapskates, er, I mean customers ask when the store’s final day would be. A manager told her that the next day would be the last day the store would be open and even the shelving units would be available for sale.
I picked up a few items and decided to come back the next day when everything would be 99% off. Oh! The bliss of the numerous bargains I would get raced through my mind! That night, I could scarcely sleep, for the thought of buying the bags upon bags of chocolate chips that I had seen piled on the shelves haunted me.
To be continued…
Go here for Part 2.