Things I Never Thought I’d Say….

“No more gluing paper to the wall!”

“Don’t eat the dog food!”

How about you? Do you have any?

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Comments

  1. “How did you get poop on your tights?”

    This was courtesy of this past Lord’s Day while trying to get out the door.

  2. Myfriendconnie@SmockityFrocks says:

    Oh, yeah! I need a whole category for the poop remarks.

  3. well, I thought I would never say:

    Spit in the sink not at the mirror!

    or

    No, it was not wise to step on the shovel as hard as you could.

  4. Anonymous says:

    How about:
    “We don’t eat things that come out of our nose…even if its food”- from a mom of 13

  5. “At least the dog food doesn’t have wheat in it.” (So, like, it won’t harm the kid who is allergic to wheat who ate it….)

  6. “We do not kiss the toilet..”

  7. The Correspondent says:

    Because we have technologically entered the 21st century with gusto, I sometimes need, while driving, to holler toward the back of the van, “Turn that movie down. I’m on the phone!”

    Also, I never imagined myself telling my kids:

    “Do NOT play tug-o-war in the house. And when playing tug-o-war in an approved area, NEVER put the rope in your mouth. And if you’re playing tug-o-war in an approved area, and one of your opponents puts the rope in his mouth, NEVER EVER try to jerk it out.”

    My husband and I gave these instructions to our kids a couple of years ago after a very unpleasant experience that involved all those issues.

  8. They happen every day, but I can’t even bring one specific to mind… But I would expect the dog food one… as a child I heard it often enough! I know, I know, that’s so gross. However, the brings to mind something. You know the commercials for “getting over your fear” of talking to your kids about drugs/sex/alcohol/whatever sin you indulged in at that age and feel regret? I personally have no problem telling my kids “Don’t!” eat the dog or cat food — even though I did. Go figure…

  9. Anonymous says:

    “Go pee behind the garage!”

    That being said to the boys who are covered in dirt, mud or snow rather than allowing them to track it through the house. They find it to be a real treat when given permission.

    And no, we don’t live in the country, we’re in the NW Suburbs of Chicago….go figure

    JulieP

  10. “I’ll talk to you when you pull your underwear up.”

  11. These are all great! I’m always saying things that sound ridiculous…like don’t touch the hot burner, Don’t walk in front of the tractor while it’s moving, don’t pick up snakes with rattles…the list goes on and on:)

  12. Hoe about:
    ~ “Don’t sit on your bother/sisters head.”
    ~ “Get that dress off your brother!”
    ~ “No, you can not skate down the stairs.”
    ~ “No, you can not go swim in the snow.”
    ~ “Oh my! Umm, sweetie, mud pies are not to eat…”

    And these are only a few that I can think of. I wonder what these say about my children?

    Jennifer

  13. Anonymous says:

    My hubby and I have been saying for many years that I need to write a book called “Things you shouldn’t have to tell your children (but I have)”.

    How about- “Don’t lick the dog there” to which the two year old replied “but HE does!?!”

    “Don’t climb over the top of the door any more.”

    “Never, never, never draw on the wall with poop again.”

    “Don’t wear roller skates on the stairs” (This one we have to say often. Why is that??)

    “Get the duck out of the bathtub and put it back in the barn.”

    “Don’t carry the baby by it’s head, please.”

    “No hiding in the dryer.”

    “No sledding down the inside stairs.” (they sled down the outside stairs every snowfall.)

    “Never hide your knitting needles in the couch!”

    And I, too, have had to say “Don’t sit on your sister’s head.”

    …and the list goes ON and ON!!

    Leah @ http://www.homschoolblogger.com/lifelongalaskan/

  14. Myfriendconnie@SmockityFrocks says:

    You people are funny!

  15. “Always, always use a clean one to wipe your nose.” This was said in the context of the following brief conversation this evening:

    Me: What are you doing?!!!??
    4 yo son: I got snot.
    Me: Okay, but you don’t wipe your bottom and then wipe your nose. Always, always use a clean one to wipe your nose. Ewww, that’s gross!

    (Note: Good thing he hadn’t just pooped. He just thought he had.)

    80)
    Mary Beth

  16. Life with Littles says:

    I find that most of the funny stuff I say is mostly to my son and not so much the girls.

    “take the knife out of your mouth and put the pop gun down”, “stop licking your sister.”, “you need to protect your baby brother and not hurt him…no, sitting on him and covering his eyes is not protecting him.”

  17. “Stop driving on your sausage and eat it.”

    (Said to the 18 month old who had a little car with him in his highchair.)

  18. Mrs. Mordecai says:

    “Pretzels don’t go in your nose”

    “Don’t touch the poop”

    “No pooping in the tub”

    “Stop eating the baking powder”

    . . . and he’s only 1 1/2 . . .

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