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A Snapshot of My Life

Have you always wondered what it is like to have seven children, but you don’t have that many on hand?

Easy! Just follow these steps to simulate a few moments in the life of a mom of seven.

  1. Go into the bathroom and close the door. Have someone bang on the door after exactly 13 seconds saying, “MOMMMMMMY! I colored a rainbow. SEEEEEE?!?!” Have the person make lots of noise shoving the rainbow picture under the door.
  2. Arrange for your home phone to ring during this time and have someone answer it and shout, “MOMMMMMMY! It’s a lady from the bank! Do you want me to tell her you’re on the POTTY?!” Make sure the phone receiver is not covered so the “lady from the bank” can clearly hear.
  3. Next, have someone on the other side of the door ask if you will braid her hair. She has the rubber bands.
  4. Cue barking dogs.
  5. Have 3 or 4 participants hoot and holler outside the door and shout things like, “WOOHOO! Look how high I can bounce on Mommy’s bed!” and “WHEEEEEEE! I can go higher than you!”
  6. Then, arrange for a loud THUD! to sound outside the door followed by loud wailing and someone saying self righteously, “That’s what you get for jumping on the bed!”
  7. Have someone shout, “Are you fixing lunch, Mommy? What are we having for lunch?”
  8. Cue crying baby. Have someone inform you the baby is crying.
  9. To make it purely authentic, have someone try the doorknob every few seconds while chanting, “Mommy, the door is locked,” to the tune of “Ding, dong, the witch is dead”.

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Comments

  1. Brenda on the S OR Coast says:

    What a startlingly accurate description!

    My other favorite is when I am in the shower and they come and ask me for things… as if I have the stuff they want in there with me…

    At least it’s never boring! =)

  2. Your #1 had me cracking up! Found your blog through Rocks in My Dryer. Glad I stopped by.

  3. The Estrogen Files says:

    Well now, I get similar results with just four. Do I REALLY have to go up to 7?! (grin)

  4. I was going to say exactly what the other comment said. You don’t need 7 kids for this; this sounds just like my life and I only have 3little people! Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Danielle says:

    Are you sure you weren’t describing my life? I love it when they ask you what you are doing (isn’t it obvious), and then say they will wait for you to finish. This ofcourse means that they park outside the door and ask you if you are done yet every 3 seconds! People say one day we will miss these days…. =)

  6. Heh Heh. Again, I wish I could not relate, but I can.

    I am trying to communicate that Mommy’s shower time is HOLY. It can only be interrupted by someone bleeding in an emergency fashion. Small scrapes don’t count. Lego crises don’t count. Wanting to watch a movie does not count.

    I already take the QUICKEST showers in the world…surely they can wait! :)

    Love ya, friend!

  7. Hilarious! If things are really quiet and no one is paying attention to me, I just walk into the bathroom close the door and wait a few seconds, they all come running:) It works every time!

  8. Sounds just like my house, with only 4 children so far. Why is it that the instant Mommy needs the toilet, someone wants to have a long conversation through the bathroom door? And heaven forbid I try to shower! NO WAY can I lock the door, because amazingly “mommy’s shower time” always coincides with “everyone-needs-the-toilet time”.

    These are interesting times in our lives. “This, too, shall pass.” :) I am in no hurry for the time when they’ve all moved out and the bathroom is all mine, though.

  9. Hahah! You had me laughing so hard I started crying. Im getting ready to add my second here in the next few weeks, so I am slowly working towards that kind of fun chaos. Take care!

  10. sounds very familiar…My husband often asks why I just don’t lock the door. I don’t know which is worse. Banging on a locked door or all your children parading into the bathroom to join you.

  11. Yep, it’s par for the course, even with a mere five children. I’m off to the shower now, and it’s 1:29 p.m. Hopefully I’ll be alone…(seeings how Daddy’s at work – ha!) :)

  12. Lisa W. says:

    Ha ha ha! So funny! I have six and this sounds VERY familiar! :) Hee hee!

  13. Happy face says:

    It doesn’t take 7 children! I have 3 too! As for locking the door—I have 12-year-old boys. Yes, I lock the door! :-)

  14. Rebecca R. says:

    You have such a hilarious way of writing out what happens in everyday life–I always know I will get a laugh when I visit your blog! I especially liked the part about someone letting you know the baby was crying–happens here, too. I guess they think we are hearing impaired! LOL I can relate perfectly, though, as I have 7 children myself–oldest will be turning 10 in about a month or so, and the youngest is only 7 weeks old today!

  15. OOOH!! I feel your pain!!!

  16. TammyIsBlessed says:

    That's hilarious. I can totally relate, even with "only" 4!

  17. You are a trip! Sounds like my world and I only have 4! I don’t think you could’ve said it any better!

  18. I too can relate. I have seven also and it is never dull. What is funny is when they want you to check their school work while you are in the shower, and even try to put it through the curtain so you can see it. I don’t quite think that will work, but they still try. Or when one of the rare times comes when everyone is doing what they should be, you go to the bathroom, and you can hear a free for all in the other room, laughing, running, crying, and when you come out they act as though nothing happened. “Who, me? I was just doing … (whatever they should be doing). It wasn’t me chasing my sister through the house.” As though you can’t tell their voices apart from the bathroom. Ah, the joys of bathroom time. =)

  19. My husband always teases me about the subject of trying to use the bathroom with children in the house. I used to tell him how I remember my mother complaining that she couldn’t even use the bathroom without us kids knocking on the door, “Mommy, are you in there? Whatcha doin?”. Now my boys do it to me all the time!
    As far as taking a shower. This is a luxury that I get only when my husband is here with our boys. If not, they would get into everything that they shouldn’t! He works many long hours so, I wait until he is available. Its a minor change from b-4 children. I don’t mind. I love my boys!

  20. you forgot to add that it is also happening to coinside with that time of the month….

  21. So funny. EXACTLY what happens here, and it hasn’t changed one bit over the last 25 years of having children! I know, one day I’ll miss it. Then the kids will bring home my grandchildren and they’ll think Grandmother is one big weirdo for leaving her bathroom door open whenever she goes to the potty (speaking from a shocked grandkid, here). Haha! Love all the comments, too! Tomorrow, when I’m in the bathroom and the kids gather round the door with determination, I shall remember I am part of an exclusive and blessed club of women! Thanks ladies, I enjoyed this post so much!

  22. This can work with just six kids as well! Thanks for making me smile through the chaos!

  23. ….and here’s me thinking it was only my kids. Well, I guess y’all must be related to me, cos I’ve long since realised that our bathroom door has a mechanism (unseen by me) which alerts the kids immediately that I am in the bathroom.

    Hence, ‘Mom!…. Moooooom!! ….. Mooooh-ooooooom Where aaaare you??!’

    Yep. Every time :)

  24. This pretty much sums up my family. Just add “Hurricane Ava” in the mix where she tears up the place, lol.

  25. I am a mom of 4 so far. We are getting ready to build a house and was wondering if you had any advice for a growing family? I know big everything and more cabinets. But is there something you really wish you had?

  26. I am the mom of 6 boys. I do not darevshut the door. I agree with all and even when dad home they still come to me.

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