Thank you for the invitation to appear on your television show. I have thoughtfully considered your offer and I would like to accept your invitation under the following conditions.
- I will swap with a wife who has a certain knack, a gift you might say, a compulsion even, for organizing and packing boxes, preferably color coded and labeled.
- That same wife must have potty trained children who have taken a vow of silence.
- Those children must be proficient at giving back rubs and manicures.
- The wife should be well known for drilling math facts and wiping up spills.
- The home should be equipped with a live in maid.
- And a private pool.
I hope to hear from you soon!