Monday will be my 24th wedding anniversary. I was 18 when we married, so there was a whole world of information I didn’t know.
I have learned a LOT these past 24 years, most of it the hard way. Since I just blogged about Love and Respect, I thought I would share some of the things I have learned not to do:
- 1.Correct your husband. Can you imagine former first lady, Laura Bush interrupting her husband to say, “It’s nuc-LEE-ar, not nuc-YOO-lar!” then rolling her eyes?
- 2.Re-do something you have asked him to do because he didn’t do it “right”. If you have asked your husband do the girls’ hair, don’t rearrange it with a burdensome sigh. If how it looks is important, do it yourself.
- 3.Treat him like a child. Asking him why he didn’t wear sunscreen or reminding him “That ‘ding’ means we are low on gas.” is assuming he can’t think for himself. He is a grown man. You are not his mother.
- 4.Share in a group how you “can NOT beLIEVE he ACTUALLY remembered your birthday… this year” or some other thing that sounds like a praise report, but is actually an attempt to let everyone know what a disappointment he usually is.
- 5.Wish aloud that you could afford to have fill in the blank. Would you tell your pastor or your grandfather that you wish he could make you happier?
- 6.Whenever he makes a decision, no matter how small, question his judgment. This way you can be sure that in no time at all you will be making all the decisions.
- 7.Ask all the ladies in your study group to pray that he will finally step up and be the leader in your family. Be sure to detail the way he never gets involved in decisions anymore.
- 8.Make sure he knows you think the children are more important than he is. Remind him often by telling others in his presence that everything you do is for the children.
- 9.When he buys you a gift, find fault with it. “It’s the wrong color, size, style. You know we can’t afford this. etc…”
- 10.Reverse his decisions regarding the children. If he tells the children they can have some candy before dinner, tell them “Mommy said ‘no’ because she cares about health and nutrition.” Add a heavy sigh.
- 11.Bring up past mistakes often. Only his, though. Act as if you are mistake free.
- 12.Talk often and at length about how you admire So and So’s husband because he coaches little league, teaches Bible class, goes grocery shopping, or something else your husband doesn’t do.
I won’t embarrass myself by telling you how many of these I have actually done. Suffice to say I have learned that these are some ways to make it very difficult for your husband to feel loving toward you.
Can you think of any others?