When my older son was about 3 years old, I had taken him shopping and he had to GO. So I took him into the restroom (which was quite crowded) where he did his business, hopped off the toilet, looked into the bowl and declared QUITE LOUDLY, "Wow, Mommy! I dropped a BOMB in there!"

The restroom went completely quiet & I heard one woman mutter something about the poor upbringing of children these days. I was horrified, and ended up lamely telling him he'd been listening to closely to his Daddy lately (since it was my ever so classy husband who taught him to say that).

Ultimately, we stood inside the stall until I was certain that everyone who had heard his commentary had left. Then we slinked out.

My daughter when she was 18 months was taught that if you fart you must say excuse me. Well we went to WalMart and in the checkout line I suddenly smelled something gross and looked down at my daughter who grinned up at me and said VERY LOUDLY, "I FOOTED!" I was too embarassed to remind her to excuse herself lest I draw more attention to us.

Um, honey, you married ME, remember?