Welcome to the last installment of the everlasting, long going Smockity Talks. (I heard that! You whispered a “finally!” didn’t you?)
The first of the last of the questions comes from my real life friend, Alice. (Hi, Alice!)
Assuming what’s done is done and you can’t say “Don’t do a reality TV show” or “Be nicer to your husband,” what would you tell Kate Gosselin if you were asked to give her advice?
Hoo-boy! Hm. This is a tough one, primarily because the two things you listed that I can’t say are two of the things I would say.
Since there has been a LOT of water under the bridge in that relationship, the only hope would be for her to forgive her husband and ask him to come back for the sake of the family. Beyond that (which I imagine the situation is beyond that), I would hope that Kate would take a good hard look at how her behavior may have contributed to the marriage being damaged in such a way that her husband would look for companionship in bars with women half his age. Repeatedly.
PLEASE, note here that I am not saying all men who cheat are doing so because their wives were not pleasant to live with, but COME ON! Anyone who has seen more than two episodes of the show knows that being, how shall I say… a big fat meanie to your husband won’t create any warm, fuzzy feelings.
And now that at least half of you are offended, let’s move on to the next question, shall we?
From Leslie: What do you do about whining? It’s my ultimate hot button and drives me crazy! My 20mo-old has already begun and with another here soon, and Lord willing many more to come, I have got to get a hold on this…
I don’t really have a good answer for this one, so if anyone does, please, jump in. We just implemented “consequence cards” for issues like this, but the trouble is The Mom has to actually remember to use them and then remember where she put them and then remember who was whining before they all run out the door to play. In other words, does anyone want to give me a hand on this one?
Next, from Diana: My question is how big is your house to accommodate 8 children?
We have 4 bedrooms and 3 baths, 2300 square feet. It does feel cramped at times, especially when we visit folks who have a lot more space per person, but then I remind myself that there are people living full and happy lives with a lot less that we have been blessed with. In fact, many millions of people all throughout history have had less space and material possessions and have lived productive, blessed lives. It is hard to remember sometimes, but I remind myself frequently that Godliness with contentment is great gain.
And lastly from Sharon: How do you deal with food? I HATE the idea of food bargaining (eat this and you can have that), but I find myself doing it recently… Also people talk about making two or three dinners every night (again I’m sure this isn’t an option for you), I guess I end up doing that a lot. I think I’m sure he won’t eat this so I’ll make a sandwich for him. So, what do you do? What do your dinners look like?
I really don’t have the patience or time to deal with picky eaters. I do have a couple, but they just usually eat what they like and then wait for the next meal. There have been occasions when I have allowed the picky eater to make his own sandwich if we are having an informal meal.
I don’t go out of my way to fix special plates (I don’t have time!), but I don’t require anyone to eat, either. Everyone knows they can take it or leave it, and they should always show appreciation for the effort the cook put into the menu whether they liked it or not. Leaving it means waiting until the next meal and either hoping it is something they like or not being so picky!
I did read a book once that indicated picky eaters can be trained to enjoy more foods if their choices are limited. That was about 12 years ago, so I can’t remember the name of the book, but I have found that advice to be mostly right.
I hope you have enjoyed this edition of Smockity Talks! Please, jump in with your own experiences or opinions on these questions in comment section.