I have known since childhood that I have a special condition. It is the condition that renders me directionally challenged. In simple English, this means that I can not find my way out of a paper bag with two hands and a flashlight.
I can remember having nightmares as a child of being behind the steering wheel of a car, peering over the top, and barely being able to see out the windshield. But, you know what the scary part was? NOT that I was only seven or eight years old and didn’t know how to drive, but what petrified me was not knowing which way to go!
I still get turned around at church after almost two years. Getting from Bible class to the auditorium for worship, I have a record of about 50% on making a wrong turn.
I’m the type that Googles driving directions, prints them out, and drives with the paper in my hands on the steering wheel. (I turn the paper whenever I make a directional change.)
When the elevator doors open? I look around the elevator for the best candidate to follow because I have no idea which way to go upon stepping out!
That’s why I was a touch nervous when Chevy assigned me the task of using OnStar in the Chevy Malibu to get myself to a destination I had never been to before.
Madison and I chose to go to the Dallas World Aquarium which was over an hour away in downtown Dallas. Where there are one way streets! Gulp!
I very nearly printed out a map in usual fashion so I could hold it on the steering wheel. I refrained though, and trusted OnStar.
The verdict? I am in love.
If I weren’t already happily married to a hunka hunka burnin’ love and it wouldn’t be really weird and slightly creepy, I would marry OnStar.
We had only one little hiccup at the end of our journey when my new love led us to a dry cleaners in a strip mall, but I forgave him. I get world aquariums and dry cleaners mixed up sometimes myself, so after a few moments of exasperation (and relief that we weren’t on a schedule and weren’t made to be late) we got back on track and ended up at precisely the place we were aiming for!
I even made it all the way home without getting lost, too!
At the end of our journey, Madison reminded me that I did marry OnStar 25 years ago, but he was at work that day. My husband just happens to be a genius at directions. He always knows which way to go and never leads us down the wrong path.
Now, if I could just convince him to live in my rear view mirror, my life would be perfect.