I have started this post and deleted it several times, because I don’t want y’all to be grossed out by my odiferous admissions. But I am willing to humiliate myself in the interest of saving my fellow sisters some embarrassment. I do it for you.
My peeps. My posse. My homies.
Five months after I had my first baby I went back to work in the very hot month of August. I’ll never forget being in the teacher’s workroom wearing a sleeveless denim shirt with a red and blue plaid broomstick skirt and red huaraches. (It was the 90’s okay?!)
Since the teachers were getting ready for the first week of school, the copier had been running most of the day so that small room was a smidge toasty.
I was chatting with my friend, Deborah, and remember thinking, “Shew! She must have forgotten to apply her deodorant this morning because it smells kinda funky in here.” After a while I went back to my classroom feeling sorry for the poor dear for her oversight and a realization slowly dawned on me that stopped me in my tracks and made me want to lock my classroom door and not come out.
The smell had followed me. The smell WAS me.
Since that time, I have had 7 more babies, and I have come to expect that for several months after I have a baby I have super sonic sweat glands.
I know. It’s a gift.
So, here’s what I have FINALLY, after several years of applying deodorant multiple times throughout the day, figured out.
Instead of using the solid that I normally like, I have to switch to Secret aerosol, which I only have to apply once a day. (They are not paying me to say this! Although, I wouldn’t mind it. Ahem.) I don’t know what that product has in it that the other one doesn’t, but it is the one and only thing I have found that keeps me from smelling like a men’s locker room.
Not that I have been in a men’s locker room, mind you, but I’m guessing here.
So, there ya go. Now you know my embarrassing story of The Day Smockity’s Sweat Glands Stank Up The School.
Remember. I do it all for you.