What's the big deal about Young Living

Dental Torture

fishing hook

So, I went to the dentist yesterday.

It has been, ahem, a while  since I last visited the dentist.

I don’t want to say exactly how long, but if you are thinking double digits – and I’m not talking months here – you are on the right track.

I KNOW! And I’m not even a  hillbilly!

It’s just that I have this policy against allowing people to come at my open mouth with sharpened metal objects. WITH HOOKS ON THE END!

Don’t try to tell me they don’t sharpen those pokers at night after all the victims have gone home. I’ve seen fishing lures in my husband’s tackle box that look similar to what they use.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my dentist. (Hi, Elizabeth!) That is, when I’m not hating her for being tall and thin and knock out gorgeous with a wardrobe to die for.

I just can’t get past those metal pokers. The hooks. The scrapers. They may as well use a jagged lid from a can of tuna. I would be about as relaxed either way.

Call me crazy, but I’m a nervous wreck when someone else has their hands in my mouth. I get all sweaty, and flinch and involuntarily push their hands out of the way while saying in a shrill whisper, “BE CAREFUL! DON’T TOUCH IT! NO!”

And then there’s the ice cold water they try to shoot down your throat while saying “Relax! It’s not so bad!”. I believe the CIA calls this “water boarding”, but I could be wrong.

Needless to say, I take VERY good care of my teeth, so I can justify getting a check up only once a decade. 

When I got home, my husband asked me how it went, and I told him I was okay after they hooked me up with the giggle juice.  (I may or may not have asked for a to-go canister when I left.)

“So you had to get a cavity filled?” he asked.

“No, not a single cavity.  She said my teeth looked great.”

“Then why did you need laughing gas?”

“For the cleaning! Duh!”

If you can believe it, he is sick enough to not even mind getting his teeth cleaned! BY A PERSON HOLDING A SHARP METAL HOOK!

He couldn’t believe that I, a woman who has given birth SIX times without any drugs, would need nitrous oxide for a routine cleaning. I think he mumbled something about me being a crybaby, but I was too busy plotting to stab him in the mouth with a fish hook tonight while he sleeps.

How do you like me now, CRYBABY?!

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Comments

  1. I had my entire mouth numbed for a cleaning once. And yes, it was a decade before I went to the dentist again. I share your views 😉

  2. You are not alone.
    Double figures between visits – in years…..check.
    Shaking, sweating before dentist even begins….. check.
    Feeling *much* more pain than in childbirth…. check.

    ………I’m with you all the way!
    Love, Anne x

  3. You’re too funny!!

    But hey if they had gas in our dentists in the UK I may actually go more often!!!!!

    xx

  4. LOVE IT! I hate going to to the dentist too! UNTIL my NEW dentist told me that I could bring my little rubbery nose thingie back with me everytime and I could have all the laughing gas I wanted even for a cleaning! Woo-Hoo! However the down side is that I actually have to have a dental procedure of some sort going on WITH the gas! He wouldn’t just let me come in for an hour or two during the day for a little rest and relaxation to go along with my laughing gas…….I don’t get it!

  5. I love the pictures you paint with your words, Connie! I actually don’t really mind the dentist, to be honest, but my mom “gets the gas” each and every time. 😉

  6. Wait…………I thought you were a hillbilly!! :)

  7. My mom says she’d rather give birth than visit the dentist. Considering she gave birth to twins without any pain medication, that’s saying alot.

    Have a blessed weekend, pretty smile lady!

  8. I agree! I’ve delivered 5 of our 7 without pain meds (the other 2 were c-section and I’m not THAT tough :) ) — but I can barely stand the dentist. Just the thought of things scraping on my teeth make me shudder. What helps me is to bring a couple of my littler ones along – then I have to tough it out and act real brave and fake happy so they’re not scared of the dentist!

    Your story made me laugh – but I’m laughing WITH you not AT you. :)

  9. Ahhh, just reading this makes me cringe. I hate going to the dentist. I haven’t been in over 2 years. I just can’t stand people sticking their hands in my mouth, let alone those sharp hook things. I’m very glad to know I am not alone in this. Give me natural childbirth any day. At least you get a cute little baby out of that.

  10. I go every 6 months because I’m blessed with enamel issues…. I don’t necessarily enjoy it, but it has to be done. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I find myself with my hands clasped over my body with fingers grinding into hands and “white-knuckling” it the entire time. I don’t even realize how tense I am until my hands start to hurt…

  11. I used to not mind going to the dentist, but the older I get, the more I dislike it. Nowadays, I can totally see how that little room looks very much like a torture chamber.

  12. Last time I saw a dentist I was 13. *grin* Yep. That’s less than half the age I am now. I am not a fan of the dentist. Hey, I brush! And I have never had a toothache that lasted longer than a day or two, minus wisdom teeth teething pains of course (which those stinkers took months to come in… each… and one took years… and one never came in at all… and now I have lots more sympathy for teething babies!) So until there’s a problem I am not gonna go fix it. Which there hasn’t been. So hopefully there won’t be any problems until I need fitted for dentures. They may not be the whitest (what do you expect from a chocoholic who also enjoys the occasional cup of coffee?) but at least they’re clean and functional… right? Yep, I’ll go to the dentist when I need dentures. At least getting your dentures cleaned doesn’t hurt…

  13. It has been at least 5 years for me. It not that I’m afraid its that I always make the time for my boys and not me. I had to laugh because I had a deep cleaning and had to be numb it hurt so bad. I had to laugh and I can understand

  14. I do not like the dentist. I can’t afford $2,000 AFTER insurance to fix ONE crazy tooth so I am having it PULLED! Ack!

    And on another note, who won the last Yoplait giveaway thing? :)

  15. I go every 6 months (or so) for my cleaning. I dread it every time. I would rather go to the ob/gyn (and I tell them that every time too). I am with you. I don’t know what is about having someone in my mouth that bothers me so.

  16. This sounds like my mom could have written this! My mom went to the dentist and I went a few weeks after her. I was sitting calmly in the chair and after he got done cleaning my teeth he said, “You didn’t get coming to the dentist form your mom!”

  17. Me too, to all of it! I went to the dentist after 7 years and then when it was time to go again, I kept rescheduling and finally WENT INTO LABOR to avoid it! And I don’t have any plans to go any time soon.

  18. Wow. I am a HillBilly.
    And I go every 6 months and so do all my hillbilly children.
    We like gud teefs ‘roun hare.

  19. I had NO IDEA that you could request laughing gas or numbing for cleanings. Why am I only learning that now?!

  20. DentalChick says:

    Seriously… I can’t believe that so many of you are so terrified of the dentist! I am a dental hygienist and the thought of some of yall not having dental check ups at least once a year is just plain crazy! Just a little info… your oral hygiene and your heart health go hand in hand. Most people don’t realize that the plaque that accumulates on your teeth is also what is accumulating in your arteries. So, if you’re not visiting your dental hygienist on a regular basis to have all of the plaque and calculus build up removed then you are sending it straight to those arteries. Be smart about your dental health and realize the importance it plays in your overall health! Statiscally it has been proven that people who floss daily and get dental cleanings and exams every 6 months typically extend their life span by 7 years.

  21. You must have watched “The Dentist” when you were a kid, too! I don’t like going to the dentist either!

  22. A. I go every 6 months, but I do not love it. Sharpened hooky-scrapey things are not from Jesus.

    2. We prefer to be called Ozark Americans.

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