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4 Moms Discuss Husbands and Homeschooling

This week the 4 Moms are discussing husbands and homeschooling.  Be sure to see what the other moms are saying about their husbands this week!

As for our homeschool, my husband is more or less the principal, the motivational coach, and the chief financial officer.

He does not happen to need to be intricately involved in the day to day lesson plans or the execution of the lessons for our homeschool.

He does  like to hear about the subjects we are studying and definitely has opinions and input on the curriculum and goals we hope to accomplish each year.

Whenever I am stumped as to how to proceed with a certain child who may be having difficulty mastering a concept, he is my “go to man”, and he usually comes up with a solution I hadn’t thought of, or reteaches the concept himself.

If there are times (and there have been) when I need him to act as “principal” in a disciplinary capacity, he is only a phone call away and will come home in a jiffy to straighten the matter out in a hurry.

I often call upon him to give me (and/or the kids) a pep talk to remind us why in the world we are doing this.

Do you ever walk into a room and forget what you went in there for? Occasionally, in the midst of the madness, I feel like that, like I can’t for the life of me remember why I am knocking myself out day after day to do what is mostly considered unusual.

That’s when my husband reminds me of why we started this homeschooling journey in the first place, and he encourages me to keep pressing on toward the goal of raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

He is also the number one financial contributor to this little operation. He drives off to work every day so that I can  stay at home to teach our children. If it weren’t for his dedication to keeping us out of debt and his constant attention to our needs, we wouldn’t be able to homeschool.

—————————————– Beginning of lecture ———————————-

Now, that I have told you how my husband is involved in our homeschool, I would like to issue an exhortation to NOT compare your husband to that or any other description of a husband, for that matter.

If your husband likes to grade spelling tests, or order curriculum, or teach history, then I say that is the perfect position for him in your family.

If he trusts you so much that he does not need to know what curriculum you order each year, then that  is the best way for him to function in your homeschool.

After 25+ years of marriage, I have learned that wishing my husband would behave like So and So’s husband is the quickest way to destroy contentment and invite turmoil into our family.

Honor the husband you have for the ways he contributes to your family.  Don’t get tangled up in what any other husband is doing in his own family.

——————————————— End of lecture ————————————

Remember the last Thursday of each month the 4 Moms will be answering reader questions, so be sure to leave your questions in the comments, or email us if you wish to keep it anonymous.

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Comments

  1. Nice Post! And thanks for the lecture ;-)
    It’s always interesting for me to learn something about homeschooling. I’d love to do it myself, but in Germany it’s not allowed to homeschool. I read everything about it though – who knows how things will change over here?
    Greetings from Germany!

  2. Thanks Connie!
    I second the lecture. We need to be happy with our husbands and their roles in our homeschool, whatever they may be. We also need to express thankfulness to our husbands!
    My husband is the “I am not sure what curriculum she uses, but I am sure that it’s great” kind of husband. He really does not know the nuts and bolts of our school day, but he completely trusts me, and he completely finances me! I am very thankful for my principal! He also backs me up if I am having a problem, and is always willing to explain some hard math or science problem to the children if I need him to.

    Love your blog!
    Roan

  3. My husband is at work from 7:00/7:30 to 5:00/5:30 every day. So I have the bulk of the work load. I don’t mind and he’s great about reminding me why we are schooling the kids when I get overwhilmed and start questioning why we are even doing this. He doesn’t know much of what we cover and often asks what they are working on only to ask again the next week! heehee For the past couple years he didn’t get to involved with picking curriculums but now that we are getting into more subjects we want to have a solid base curriculum so he has been helping me look up the curriculums that I am interested in getting. Thank God for this because I would have ended up getting some that I would have hated once we started!
    The biggest area he is involved with, other then the obvious character building and disapline when home, is history, which we mostly go over at supper time.
    It is a joy to have him involved any way he can and he greatly enjoys it too. He wishes he could work from home so he can be more involved but until his life coaching takes off he’s stuck at is 9 to 5 job :-(
    Thank you for you post! I so love reading all your blogs!

  4. Fantastic post, Connie – comparing ourselves to others in anything is not only counter-productive, but unbiblical. “If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

    My hubby is definitely one of the “un-involved” type homeschooling fathers. He feels very strongly about us homeschooling, but he completely trusts me to worry about curriculum, etc. The “go-to” man – I like that! I would say that’s how John is too. When we come to the end of a chapter in our Apologia Science, he always does the experiment. These will probably be remembered long after my lessons are taught. Especially since explosions and chemical reactions are often involved!

    I thank God for my dear hubby who complements me so nicely – we make a great pair and this extends to homeschooling. Let your hubby’s strengths shine through, rather than trying to force him to do better in areas God has not gifted him in!

  5. One more thing :) — he’s definitely the final voice on discipline. I also greatly appreciate his objective opinion – not that I ever let my emotions determine my mood or reactions. (ha)

  6. what a great post! I love reading your post and all the other 3 mothers, love seeing how you all are a team with your husband and how each family is different :-)

    What a encouragement for us mother who are new at this!!!

  7. I ditto your lecture. When Mark and I were talking about this post and he asked me, “what do you really want to say?” that was one of my main points. Don’t think that your husband has to help in the same fashion that other husbands help.

    Thanks once again, Connie, for godly advice!

  8. I just read all of your “why homeschool” posts and shared them with my husband. We are already planning and praying for wisdom on the education of our future children. Your story closely echoes the thoughts of my heart. Thanks for sharing! I will likely come to you for guidance down the road! :)

    Blessings!

    Melanie @adorkable-me.blogspot.com

  9. Great Post! Loved the lecture!

    I love my husbands involvement with the kids! We homeschool our daughter (6) and will continue for our younger two!

    My husband is in Optometry School right now, so he can’t be here for our main on-goings. But when he comes home and sees a teachable moment he jumps on it!

    My favorite thing is how much the kids listen and remember those little tid-bits that he says. As an example: our daughter was having a hard time remembering how to make her little “i”s in her name. She would always make a capital “I”. So one night my husband told her that her ‘I’ “goes half-way across the road and then his head falls off.”
    Every time she write a lower-case “I” she giggles and says “He goes half way across the road and then his head falls off!”
    It will be something that she will always remember!

    My husband was homeschooled until he was in 4th grade. This was back in the day when homeschooling had to be done under the table and off the books. I think my mother-in-law would have gone further if she could’ve, but without the support and resources she felt like it was better for him to go into the school system! I’m so glad that she did! (That’s where we met!)

    I think because of his homeschooling back ground he is much more supportive and involved (when he can be!) in the schooling of our own children!!

    =o)

    Thanks so much for the encouragement! I love your blog!!

  10. I think that is awesome. Especially, the part about Dad coming home if he has to. For us being a military family not sure I could pull that card, as sometimes he is in another city, country, or just in the air, haha

    My hubs does much of that. He will step in where I feel overwhelmed when he can. Whether it’s giving a Spelling test, helping w/ Math, and he does our morning Bible reading if he is home : )

  11. Lindsey Swinborne says:

    What a great post! So often in homeschooling circles it can be easy to wish one’s hubby was like So and So’s hubby and did more hands-on teaching of the kids. But this was a great reminder for me that my husband is an excellent provider, daddy, and husband to me and fully trusts me with more of the school details that he finds boring. Thanks for sharing this!

  12. Naomi Hunt says:

    Thank you thank you thank you for your lecture!! Sometimes I get caught up in the ‘comparison’ game and I need that admonition. LOVE these blogs I just found yesterday!!! Thank you for your ministry, a blessing to all us young moms just starting out :) My husband is a wonderful man of God with very unique and specialized gifts and talents. We look forward to the places and possibly travels God will take us down in the future because of the call on his life. (yet another reason to homeschool). However, I was the one homeschooled growing up, the one who worked in a curriculum store, and the one primarily driving the homeschooling bandwagon, although he fully agrees with me, it was my idea first.
    Anyway, Thank you!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Connie @ Smockity Frocks Upcoming 4 Moms topics: [...]

  2. [...] I have many favorite blog sites I visit, but I must admit that homeschooling mothers with four or more children interest me most. I am sure it is because I can relate to many of them. A few months ago, 2 of my favorite blog ladies joined with two others to give a multi-SAHM prespective on life in large homeschooling families. I love these Thursday posts. Today’s post was on how fathers lead/participate in homeschooling. Here’s a link to one post, and you can find the other three from there, if you desire. http://www.smockityfrocks.com/2010/10/4-moms-discuss-husbands-and-homeschooling.html [...]

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