How to Be a Redneck Tooth Fairy (and Unwittingly Offend Mall Employees)

So.

Two of my girls got invited to a birthday/costume party. They were thrilled to pieces and immediately set about digging around to find a couple of costumes that they deemed more mature than a bunny rabbit or a mouse.

It was touch and go for a while, and we thought one of them might have to resort to the old soccer costume stand by. Or the generic ballerina.

We finally decided to pull out the leotards and fairy wings and go with tooth fairies.

That’s when my Madison came up with something that was pure genius. She suggested we get some of these

and let them be  redneck  tooth fairies!

Since it was time for our girls’ night out and Madison chose to go to the mall as one of her activities, I decided to find a toy store while we were there to ask about the teeth.

We found the toy store and I made my way to the counter where there was a distinguished looking grandmotherly type lady working.

I greeted her cheerfully and asked, “Do you have fake teeth?”

She stared at me a little too long for comfort and said slowly, “…No.”

I thanked her and shrugged to myself, wondering what she was being so hesitant about. On our way down the aisle, I whispered to Madison that I guessed this toy store was too dignified to carry bubba teeth.

“Mama!” Madison said. “She thought you were asking if she has  fake teeth.”

I didn’t get it. I  was  asking her that.

“No,” Madison continued, “as in ‘Are those teeth you have in your head fake teeth?’!”

I stopped in my tracks and gasped.

Then I started laughing. And laughing.

And gasping for breath. And slapping my leg.

And clapping my hands. While wheezing. (Am I the only one who claps like a seal when I am having an uncontrollable fit of laughter?)

And leaning on Madison. And gasping some more.

That was the second funniest thing I laughed about that day.

Next to this.

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Comments

  1. Brilliant! That is sooooo like something I would say….and so like something I wouldn’t get until my girls explained it to me simply! And then, I too would have a laughing fit in the mall, and embarrass the life out of my girls.
    That was really funny!
    Love, Anne x

  2. That is soooo funny! Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh.
    Love the girls toothfairy costumes..the teeth really do make it!

  3. That IS a genius costume!

  4. Brilliant!!! Thanks for the laugh, thats so funny!!!!!

    Love the costumes!

  5. Love it! Better not share with my husband or my daughter’s hopes for a doctor costume this Halloween will be exchanged for this idea :)

  6. Alice McD says:

    So, where DO you find those?

  7. That is VERY funny – I’ve kind of had rednecks on my mind this weekend. We were presenting our ministry at a church in southern IL and I saw a sign that never ceases to make me laugh (we’ve passed it on this country road before). It’s the ultimate in redneck signs I think — http://toliverstotexas.blogspot.com/2010/10/small-towns.html

  8. Funny! So funny!

  9. Very funny! Thanks for sharing the story and the pictures with us. Especially the pictures!!!

  10. Love them! Especially the look on Hot Pink Daughter’s face. Priceless!

    P.S. I think we have the same couch. Great minds shop alike! =)

  11. That is too funny!

  12. Hehehehehehe. That so sounds like something I would have done. (Oh, and I clap like a seal when I’m guffawing, too. Someday, it will embarrass my children!)

  13. Some of your posts need to have a warning label!

    “Be sure you have no food or drink in your mouth when reading this post!”

    You are SO funny-loved this post!

  14. That’s too funny! I love how you are so real. Reading your blog makes me smile. :)

  15. I do the slapping my thigh while I laugh uncontrollably thing too, also the wheezing :)

    Love your cutie redneck tooth fairies!

  16. That is the best story I’ve heard all day. Soooo funny!

  17. Are we the same person? I snort when I laugh too hard and have tears streaming down my face!!

  18. I do the “seal clap” when I get into a laughing fit as well! And then just turn red and shake from not being able to breathe!! Oh, and once my mom walked up to a woman at the grocery store and asked her where she got her whoppers. (Meaning the candy–but it sounded like something else.) We have laughed about that one for years!

  19. Oh my gracious…that was hilarious!!!

  20. Love it!! I clap like a seal too :-D

  21. Mary Mac says:

    That was very funny! So glad you shared. You and your family sure do have fun! Love it!

  22. Mary Mac says:

    Oh, by the way, did you ever go back and explain to the first woman what it was that you were really asking about?

  23. Recommenting a year later! Still as funny as it was the first time round LOL!

  24. lol! Great and very creative!!

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