How to Be a Redneck Tooth Fairy (and Unwittingly Offend Mall Employees)

So.

Two of my girls got invited to a birthday/costume party. They were thrilled to pieces and immediately set about digging around to find a couple of costumes that they deemed more mature than a bunny rabbit or a mouse.

It was touch and go for a while, and we thought one of them might have to resort to the old soccer costume stand by. Or the generic ballerina.

We finally decided to pull out the leotards and fairy wings and go with tooth fairies.

That’s when my Madison came up with something that was pure genius. She suggested we get some of these

and let them be  redneck  tooth fairies!

Since it was time for our girls’ night out and Madison chose to go to the mall as one of her activities, I decided to find a toy store while we were there to ask about the teeth.

We found the toy store and I made my way to the counter where there was a distinguished looking grandmotherly type lady working.

I greeted her cheerfully and asked, “Do you have fake teeth?”

She stared at me a little too long for comfort and said slowly, “…No.”

I thanked her and shrugged to myself, wondering what she was being so hesitant about. On our way down the aisle, I whispered to Madison that I guessed this toy store was too dignified to carry bubba teeth.

“Mama!” Madison said. “She thought you were asking if she has  fake teeth.”

I didn’t get it. I  was  asking her that.

“No,” Madison continued, “as in ‘Are those teeth you have in your head fake teeth?’!”

I stopped in my tracks and gasped.

Then I started laughing. And laughing.

And gasping for breath. And slapping my leg.

And clapping my hands. While wheezing. (Am I the only one who claps like a seal when I am having an uncontrollable fit of laughter?)

And leaning on Madison. And gasping some more.

That was the second funniest thing I laughed about that day.

Next to this.

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