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What's the big deal about Young Living

4 Moms Reveal Where Babies Come From

The other moms are forcing me to write about this, otherwise I never would, and if I were you, I would pay attention to what they are writing about instead of what I am because I have no idea what I am talking about on this one. In fact, I am headed over there to take notes right now.

We are mostly of the “less is more” attitude when it comes to discussing these things. “Just the facts, ma’am” pretty much sums up our curriculum in the, er, human development area.

See? I don’t even like to refer  to it!

Since we seem to have a baby every couple of years, and now that we live in the country and our kids have witnessed dogs doing… what they do, and baby goats being born, we do have questions that come up every now and then, and we try to answer those as succinctly and matter of factly as possible.  

And then I run into the bathroom and hyperventilate. I’M KIDDING! Mostly.

Our children know and understand that God intends for husbands and wives to only ever love one another and keep themselves for each other. They also know, from reading the Proverbs, that it can be a temptation to disregard this plan, and doing that is sinful and foolish.

Beyond that, and teaching the simple biological changes that come with puberty, I am not an advocate of OVER education. You can see more of my thoughts about this trend here and how we address the dangers of promiscuous behavior here.

We haven’t used a curriculum or any specific book, so I don’t have any to recommend to you. See? I told you I would be no help here!

What about you? How have you addressed this… topic with your children?

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Comments

  1. Well, we live in the country too, so between country living, and Bible reading, there really isn’t a lot our kids don’t see/hear/figure out for themselves! Like you, we like to teach God’s perspective on marriage and the relationships that are only for marriage. I don’t feel the need to use specific words. Hubby and I are very affectionate but wouldn’t embarrass the kids with our behaviour! (Having said that, at some stages, they’re embarrassed with parents kissing, but we don’t stop doing that!)
    As for babies, and where the come from (in terms of their birth), they’ve known from very young….. but then again – the do lambing etc, so it’s all very natural. As for the 9-months-before -the-birth….*thing*…. no – Bible teaches enough for them to know.
    So – I’m a bit like you I reckon! Now I’m off to see the words of wisdom from the others… :)

  2. I agree with your ‘less is more’, there is nothing more embarrassing than kids knowing too much, especially if they are immature – whatever age that might be.

  3. Evelyn says:

    My kids have known the mechanics of sex since they were probably 3 or 4, because they were both born at home and I’m a childbirth educator and lactation consultant. As to the rest, they sort of halfway take my word for it that adults actually like to do “that.” Both are very aware that pubescent hormones kicking in make their friends crazy/stupid, and wonder why anybody would waste time in mating rituals when they are only 13 years old and not going to get married anytime soon. Very practical kids I have :)

    I’m very laid back about it and I don’t blush or get embarrassed at all, because if I did, I’d never last professionally!

  4. I’m just wondering what happens when they begin looking to marriage and don’t even know what sex really is. Do they know the mechanics of it? Do they know women do actually get to enjoy it?

    I mean no offence, I ask because I have seen both extremes and I’m not sure how it ends up. I learnt the details of sex at school at about 8 years old when one parent explained it to their child and their child told everyone else. I grew up in an enviroment where learning a lot about it from both teachers and peers was quite acceptable. There were issues with this obviously, but on the other hand, we began homeschooling before my sister reached this age. My sister knew nothing about it, and my mother wouldn’t tell her anything except the very basics. When she first did it, she paniced because no one had told her she was supposed to bleed. She also could not figure out how women were supposed to… well, climax, and had various questions about the mechanics and physical feelings etc. I eventually had to have a long discussion explaining it to her but she had been doing it for well over a year with no understanding and no enjoyment of the act.

    I’m not sure how much to say or not say, I don’t want to go overboard but I don’t want my daughter to have no idea what’s about to happen on her wedding night either.

    • Although my husband and I weren’t sheltered about the topic growing up, we both went through premarital counseling before we got married, and our paster/counselor had us read a couple of Christian books: The Gift of Sex by Penner and Intended for Pleasure by Wheat.

      Pre-marital counseling before marriage is a good idea anyway, and there’s no reason for even the most sheltered person to go into marriage without being fully aware of what is involved.

      So while I think that parents should talk to their kids and explain some things about the topic, if a parent doesn’t feel they want to go into details, I don’t think that means that the child is doomed to naivete her whole life.

  5. I think an appealing factor of sex is the mystery! Something our culture has pretty much trashed. It seems some come into marriage with an idea that the marital act will be like it is portrayed by Hollywood, and when it’s kind of ho-hum sometimes, there must be something wrong. When I married, I was pretty clueless; but I thoroughly enjoyed the on-the-job training!

  6. I’ll answer the what about when they get married part- I asked a couple of their young friends who were married to share anything they found especially helpful. And that’s teh time for the specific books if that is what they want.
    I have two married daughters, and they felt that was adequate.

  7. Is there any particular age your children learn stuff? I recently had the birds and the bees talk with my 7yo daughter. She goes to public school and I wanted to inform her of God’s plan before she was tainted with the world’s view. She is very mature for her age and yet I wonder if she is too young still. That’s the struggle though, is there a right time? Should I have waited and then let her school friends tell her?

  8. We are dealing with this very topic right now in our home. I am halfway through my pregnancy, and we have a 3 1/2 year old and a 5 year old, both girls. My youngest REALLY wants to know how the baby is going to get out of mommy’s tummy, and I’m just not sure what or how to share that with her! We have told them that God creates the baby in my tummy, and that he’ll grow in there until he’s big enough to come out, but beyond that, I’m at a loss!

    • Christine N. says:

      When I had an almost 4 year old and an almost 2 year old and was pregnant with my third, I loved the question, “What do you think?” It was so helpful to see where they were already and correct them if they were wrong. The 2 year old said, “From your belly button.” and the 4 year old said, “From your bottom.” I pretty much just said the 4 year old was right and that it was a lot of hard work.

    • I’m currently pregnant with our 5th and when my 3 or 4 year old ask about it I tell them the Dr. or midwife will get the baby out. My 3 year old is satisfied with this answer, my 4 year old wanted more details, so I explained it in simple and basic terms. My oldest found out about that at age 3. I explained how c-sections work and how natural birth works, and neither of them seemed phased by it at all. But you know your kids and how they will handle the information. Sometimes I tell my kids that I think it would be best if we discussed their questions when they get a little older. Sometimes I just put it off until I can pray about it and ask others for advice. Good luck!

  9. Please moms – please be careful to not let your kids catch on to your uneasiness on this topic. My mom filled me in with a “talk” when I was about 11 and let me know that, “if I ever had any questions to just ask.” I never did ask, but I did have questions. I knew my mom was uncomfortable discussing the subject of sex, and I loved my mom. I didn’t want to be the one making her uncomfortable.

    I was very disappointed that she never discussed the topic even leading up to my marriage. I think she saw the books that my fiancée had me read (Christian authored books on sex and marital intimacy) and was relieved that she didn’t have to “say anything”. My husbands’ parents on the other hand did a great job of preparing their kids (a lot like Raising Olives wrote about). We are definitely modeling our sex education after his side of the family and NOT mine ;-)

  10. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell your kids, “You know, because this is a private topic, I am not used to talking it much, and it embarrasses me a little bit, but that’s okay.”

  11. Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I recently stumbled upon your blog, and I just love it. It is so refreshing to find blogs that have such strong Christian foundations. I especially enjoy the 4 Moms feature. It puts me in mind of the instructions in Titus 2 for the older (not calling you old, mind you, just older and more experienced than me with my one li’l babe) to “…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands…”

  12. For how the baby gets out, I’ve told my daughter (age 6) that we have three holes, one for pee, one for where the baby gets out (and it’s very stretchy), and one for poo poo. She hasn’t yet asked about how the baby gets in there, but when she does I’ll just have to say it. That’s what my mom did with me when I was about 7 and I’m glad she did.

    I also believe that sex is meant to be enjoyed so while it is very special to be enjoyed with one person, I hope that they fully enjoy their body and the body of their spouse. I like what one of the above posters said about enjoying her on-the-job training. That’s great.

  13. On a as needed basis and with as little info as possible. My 14 year old son knows the basics. my 10 year old has been told about what will happen to her body soon (hopefully not too soon) so she is not scared. but i think giving them too much information gives them a reason to ask more questions. I agree the bible is the only curiculm we really need for this

  14. We have a 6 year old boy and a baby on the way, so there have been lots of questions! Funny enough, gardening helped me explain things a bit. “Mommy has a seed and Daddy has a seed, and they put them together to make a baby.” He took this at face value and went off to play. =)

  15. I really just don’t understand why grown men and women are embarrassed about sex. It’s natural and part of life. Don’t get me wrong; decsribing specific acts to teens is unneeded, and a bad idea, but why be embarrassed about explaning how a child is born? THIS is why the church and public school system has started talking about it; because you have parents who blush at the sound of the word “uterus”. If you don’t talk to your kids about this and make sure they are comfortable asking you questions, they WILL learn it from somewhere else. And for heaven’s sake, grow up a little bit. They wouldn’t think it was such a big deal if YOU didn’t make it such a big deal.

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