It All Went Downhill After the Trip to the Minor Emergency Clinic

My husband is out of town.

Don’t these stories always start out that way?

I knew we would be having a long, busy Sunday with an early start, so I set my alarm and woke the kids while it was still dark to get ready for early service at church.

I immediately noticed that the 5 year old was burning up with fever and couldn’t get a deep breath without coughing and wheezing violently. (Don’t these things always happen on a weekend?!)

Since some of the other children had obligations at church, I formulated a plan in which I would drop off the 6 of them with instructions to sit on the back row, be quiet, and help out getting little ones to Bible class. I would have the baby with me while taking the 5 year old to the minor emergency clinic, get her all fixed up, and be back to church to pick them up before any monkey business broke out.

Because the children? Oh, they know how to throw down on the monkey business.

So, everything was going according to my plan for at least 15 minutes.

Until the baby scatter pooped, the proportions of which shall not be spoken of here. Let’s just say I had to apologize to the doctor for the offensive odor and visual evidence of said episode and head straight home for a wardrobe change for everyone involved.

I was still trying to make it to church before dismissal, so I told 5 year old to stay buckled up, and ran with the baby through the pouring rain to change our clothes.

After using around 257 wipes I got us cleaned up and changed, and we ran back out to the van, ready to finally head to church.

That’s about the time I got the van firmly stuck in the mud.

Yup. It had been raining all day and night and the back left tire was sunk up to the axle in our muddy driveway. That may have had something to do with my brilliant idea to keep revving the engine in hopes that the tire would get tired of its “zzzzzzzz-ZZZZZZZZZZZ-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ” spinning and magically levitate to firm ground.

In case you’re wondering, tires don’t do that simply because you wish they would. Trust me.

After 27 questions from the 5 year old about “Why is the van making that funny noise, Mommy?” and “Why aren’t we going to church yet?” I decided to get out and shovel a trench under the tire so I could stick some twigs in there and then try revving the engine some more. Brilliant, right? (Remember, it was pouring down rain this whole time.) I’m pretty sure I saw something like that on Man vs. Wild once.

In case you’re wondering, that doesn’t work either. You’ll just get wet and muddy and the tire will sink even deeper in the muck.

Are you writing this down? I did all of this with you people in mind. This was research.

I finally called a friend in the middle of church, and she mercifully answered! (Thanks, Melissa!) I started telling her my whole long story and at each step, she said, “Oh no!” “No, wait. There’s more.” I told her each time.

I finally got to the part about being stuck and needing to pick up the kids and asked her if she saw any capable men who might be willing to help me out. (Her husband was out of town, too!) She was off in a flash, and before I knew it, 2 men from church showed up and got down on hands and knees in my muddy driveway, in the pouring rain, to hook me up to a 4 wheel drive and pull me out. (Thanks, Clayton and Brian!)

I got to church just in time to pick up the kids, who confessed to only minimal monkey business while I was away.

The good news is, at that point I fully expected to be struck by lightning or involved in a traffic accident or attacked by a pack of hyenas on the way to church, and none of that happened, so I’m calling it a good day.

It’s the little things, you know?

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Comments

  1. OH you poor thing. Yeah, maybe tomorrow will be better?? Hugs!

  2. Oh Connie…..

  3. Mama Mirage says:

    Aww man what a day! **HUGS** So glad you avoided the pack of hyenas though. That would have made for a REALLY bad day. ;)

  4. I’m so sorry you had such a rough morning. But thanks for making it sound funny for us :)!!

  5. Now that was a good story! You always make me laugh…with you, not at you, of course :)

  6. Well, at least you didn’t have an alpaca or two in the back of the van. :)

  7. Full-length books could be written on “What Happens When Hubby Is Away”!!!

    At our house, it usually starts with a clogged toilet within minutes of John leaving. And I mean seriously clogged. Usually the bad things pile up after that initial disaster. John’s going overseas for a month next year (missions trip!) and perhaps I should figure out some way to prepare for everything that will happen that would never happen if he were here.

    Great story!! Just think of all the stories we’d miss out on if our hubbies always stayed home! :)

  8. Hilarious! I love how you write your experiences. Someone else may have just sat there and cried (which maybe you felt like doing), but I love how you saw the humor in the situation and survived to write about it so we could all share in the laugh. :)

  9. Oh my, too funny. In those situations I guess the only thing you can do is laugh. I’m glad I’m not the only one that has had one of those days. :)

  10. So, how is everyone feeling today?

  11. Oh Connie, what a day. You’re so patient and optimistic.

  12. not so sure I would have left my 5 year old in the car alone while I went inside.

    • That’s ridiculous. Why would she drag the 5yr old out as well? Its not like it was too hot to be in the car, its raining. Besides, I am sure that after so many kids, you learn how to do things speedy quick.

      • It’s just not safe to leave children especially a five year old alone. We see it all the time on the news…children snatched from their own homes, cars, bus stops, etc. Clearly, this day (as bad as it was) could have been much worse.

        • Every 5yr old is different. One can be mature and you can trust them with things and another can be so silly and immature that you can’t leave them alone for a minute. So I would not judge someone else’s kids based on your kids. And as for safety…thats a totally different topic. Children that are stached up are usually planned ahead of time by the people. Usually, they are followed a little bit and those people check out the area and the schedule of parents. Rarely do stalkers just jump. Thats why they are stalkers and child predators.
          Instead of being critical, you could have commented on how great her post is. Connie has a great sense of humour and I love reading her blog.

        • Smockity Frocks says:

          Lori, My driveway has a security gate and my house is 1/2 mile from there in a wooded area that cannot be seen from the road. Someone would have had to 1) known she was there, 2) crash through the gate, and3) driven slowly over a muddy gravel driveway to get to her.

        • Oh my, Lori. No offense but I would be quiet if I were you. You got a reply from Smockity Frocks herself that gave you THREE reasons and a description of her house location. Sadly, I think you are one of those type of moms that are so over-protective your children have trouble breathing because they are smothered by you. I know, I know. I am posting a very mean comment. But I am in no mood to be polite with you. If I have a different view with a parent, I don’t go on insisting my way. And to be reasonable, I hardly think Smockity Frocks was changing the baby for an hour. She was in a hurry, lady. Get over it. Relax. You are forgetting the main point in life that there is a Heavenly Father that protects His children and takes care of them.

  13. oh Connie- your life is starting to loo like mine.
    you are such a joy!!

  14. Oh wow, if I had a day like that I think I’d just want to go back to bed. Praise God for the guys who helped you get unstuck!

  15. LOL, I am hoping that sitting down and typing this up helped get you some relief from the stressful day. I know that HOW a story is retold that can lighten the load tremendously.
    I hope your little one gets over the fever and that everything calms down for you.

  16. Girl, you should seriously consider writing a book. I would totally buy it for those times when I was feeling down and needing a laugh. And, it should be Reader’s Digest style — just little snippets of stuff that make people wonder if Murphy and his Law follow you around making notes. ;-)

  17. Connie, What a day ! We get through them with a good sense of humor which you surely have been blessed with :) It`s those kinds of days I actually feel blessed ( afterwards ) because it`s a “golden nugget” day when God shows his existance and that he is with me always. I mean how else could we get through these days if not for him ? Praise God and the special angels he blesses us with that we call our church family. I hope your little one is better and God continues to smile on your family. I am praying for you. God bless your day ! patty

  18. Can you do a Small Talks with Smockity Frocks going thru all your children in age order?

  19. Elizabeth says:

    It’s times like this we know who our real friends are! What a blessing they are! :)

  20. Chic Mummy says:

    I had to laugh with your church friend going “oh no” because that was exactly what I was saying as I read your post…everytime I think things were bad they just got worse. But like everything else you do you got through it with grace and humour (though I bet you weren’t laughing at the time!)

  21. What a horrible sounding morning, but I’m glad it all ended well. It must have been encouraging to see God’s work being done in the form of the men who came to help! I hope your 5 yr old is feeling better!

  22. Oh my word, we can laugh now, but what a morning!

    You have a wonderful sense of humor, I spewed my coffee when I read, “I did all of this with you people in mind. This was research.”

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