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What's the big deal about Young Living

Pickles, the Fire Cat

When my husband is working out of town, as he has been a lot recently, he likes to check in on the ol’ blog to find out what’s been going on with the kids.

So, when I talked to him last night, he said, “WHY aren’t you posting anything about the family on your blog?!”

I told him I really couldn’t think of anything to say, and he was all, “Really? ‘Cause whenever we talk you almost never shut up.” Okay, he didn’t actually say that, but I’m pretty sure he was thinking it, mostly because it’s true.

What he actually said was that in his opinion my best posts, the ones he enjoys most, are the ones about a regular day in the life of The Smockity Family. He encouraged me to just post about what has been going on at home, or what I like to call Crazyville.

So, here goes. If you don’t like it, blame him.

We have this old book about Pickles, The Fire Cat. I have read it aloud and listened to it read aloud many times. The oldest kids pretty much know it by heart.

I’m sure you have books like this. You know the kind that you can recite with your eyes closed?

So as I was reading it yesterday to the little girls, I did something I have wanted to do for years. I improvised the story.

You see, Pickles is a naughty cat who lives in an abandoned lot and chases other cats. He cannot find anything to do, but mischief, until Mrs. Goodkind comes along.

Upon first meeting Mrs. Goodkind, we see that she is a nice, normal looking, and quite lovely lady.

And then we turn the page.

And we hear the scary “there’s an escaped convict with a knife outside my shower” music.

That’s when I couldn’t help myself. After holding back what has been in my head for the past 16 years, I let it loose. Here’s how my improvised text read, in my best sing-song voice:

Mrs. Goodkind was so freakishly proportioned that she often haunted local children’s darkest nightmares. They suspected she was actually a professional female wrestler trying to pass herself off as a man trying to pass himself off as a woman.

Even Pickles, who thought himself an open-minded cat, could scarcely look at Mrs. Goodkind without letting out a little gasp, mouth agape. Fortunately for the sensitive Mrs. Goodkind, to humans, feline gasps sound exactly like, “Meow”.

At this point in the story, my 15 year old son, who knew what he was hearing was NOT the old familiar story he was used to, stuck his head into the room, looked at me like I had lost my mind, and said, “What in the world???

We all cracked up laughing and then spent the rest of the day making up text for the pictures in the book.

Just a regular day in Crazyville.

*Note to all young and aspiring illustrators: When drawing ladies, for the love of all that is feminine, it is best not to make them appear as if they need a shave, are on the East German Olympic weight lifting team, have hairy forearms, and can crack walnuts with their calves.

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Comments

  1. I sooooo needed that laugh! Hilarious!!!

  2. ahahahaha that’s amazing!! and yes, Mrs. Goodkind goes from looking like a lovely lady to a scary shemale… not good. Me thinks the illustrator needs to work on their drawing skillz. love your rendition of the story! :)

  3. Mrs Goodkind is a he/she?? lol

  4. I had that book when I little! And yes she does look like a drag queen.

  5. This is so hilarious! I always thought she was freakish when I read this as a kid! Love your rendition!

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I love this! I read that book many times as a child and I always had such a feeling of disappointment when the pretty lady turned into a pretty man! LOL!

  7. LOL!!! This is the best post I have read in a long time… I needed a laugh today! Totally agree with you about the “pretty lady”.

  8. Janet Ma'ly says:

    That’ll teach your husband to mess with your blogs! Bwahahahah! :)

  9. You are too funny! I think your husband is right, I love your “real life” posts!

  10. I’m laughing so hard that our 3 little girls keeps asking me “mama why are you crying!!!” Thank you for the good laugh this morning, and you are so right, she does not look too feminine in the second picture!

  11. Sharon Gulley says:

    I have a much used copy of this book, a favorite of our family also. BUT I always pitied poor Mrs.Goodkind for her manish looks! I loved your “edition”!

  12. ssmazzon says:

    See? You are funny! Your husband was right! I myself love when you post about recipes or farm animals or cute kids……..Have a wonderful day!

  13. lol…this is too funny! I just read that book the other day to my three-year old, and he loved it–but i have to admit, one of my first thoughts about that particular illustration was “wow, apparently mrs. G doesn’t like to be outdoors dealing with stray cats…she’s morphed into a strange hulk-like creature!” :)

  14. I’ve been missing your daily life posts also! Yay for your husband!

  15. Your husband is spot-on. I have missed the posts that are more ‘you’. Blessings!

  16. Heather Mason says:

    this book’s a classic in our house, too. And I too have thought a different illustrator shoulda had the opportunity to tackle this one! Mrs. Goodkind is such a nice lady. She should be pretty :)

  17. Bwaaaaahahahaaaaaaa *breathe* haahaaahahahahaaaaaa!

  18. That’s so funny! I remember reading that book as a kid, but I never noticed Mrs. Goodkind’s manly profile when I was younger.
    I’m glad that you’ve brought back the funny posts about your family life!

  19. We had that book!!!! I read it many, many times to my brother. Love, love, love you improv! Mr. Smockity was right, but you don’t have to tell him I told you that:)

  20. I totally agree – that has always bugged me about that book too!!

    We continue to love Robert McCloskey best when it comes to children’s picture books. I nearly have Blueberries for Sal, One Morning in Maine and Make Way for Ducklings memorized – after reading it to 8 kids a zillion times each it really shouldn’t be surprising.

    I’ve also labeled each of our kids Jack, Kack, Lack… You get the idea. :)

  21. Oh man, I remember that and I haven’t read the book since 2nd grade!

  22. Heather Wawa says:

    Thanks, Mr. Smockity! This made me laugh and I’ve missed posts on the family, too.

  23. I had that book growing up and whew! She isn’t lovely…..

  24. But I love that book and Jenny…love those stories. Yes, I guess, but I never noticed that she wasn’t drawn pretty…I’m biased that way, if I like something I like it , if I don’t I don’t…can’t ever watch a movie with Johnny Depp, no matter how much people rave about the movie.

  25. I get that it’s funny, but think about what you’re all saying if you had that reaction when encountering that woman on the street. Is everything that falls outside the ideal of “pretty lady” so awful?

  26. You are way better at this than I am….I have to say that hubby & I inexplicably (to our kids) crack up when we see the R page in the Dr. Suess alphabet book…

    http://pbk.seussprints.com/images/products/big/A18a.R.rhino%28gray%29.jpg

  27. I wish you had a picture of your 15-year-old’s face! Maybe the illustrator had studied the Sistine Chapel too much: those ladies are quite manly, too.

  28. OK. I’ve been meaning to come comment on this post. Wednesday morning I saw your man/woman post on facebook, but didn’t have time to read it because I was headed to BSF where I’m a children’s leader.

    What book did I happen to choose to be read to the kids that morning? This one! I only recognized it when I saw the page that had been on your fb post. Had never heard of/seen this book before in my life!

  29. Sorry, but hubby was right!!! Great post,,need more like it.

  30. Jennifer says:

    Haha! That was funny, I’ve always thought that, even though this was one of my favorite books as a kid. I also always think that pickles is big enough to eat Joe the Fireman when he was stuck up the tree!

  31. I started to read this post to my children and when & first said it was about Mrs. Goodkind, my daughter says, “You mean MR. Goodkind!”

  32. Very funny and rather appropriate, I’d say, considering how that image looks… :-D

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What's the big deal about Young Living