4 Moms Q&A Time

4 Moms 35 Kids

It is time, again, for The 4 Moms of 35+ Kids to answer your questions.

Be sure to check out what the rest of my team has to say today. (Especially, Deputy Headmistress, who has a freebie for 4 Moms ebook buyers who are Kindle owners! This freebie expires Sat. 7 p.m. CST, so hurry on over!)

First, I’d like to start with this pressing question:

Are you 4 Moms that are all age 35 and the group includes your children? As in “4 Moms born the same year, age 35, PLUS your kids of an undetermined number”?

Thank you for asking this question. I’d like to clear it up once and for all. No. In fact, we are not all age 35, although I do remember those days like they were… 10 years ago. Ahem.

If it were true that we were 4 moms, all of the age 35, plus some questionable number of children, I would hope that one of us would have the good sense to insert a comma in the title so it would appear as “4 Moms of 35, + Kids”. However, we are “4 Moms of 35+ Kids”, meaning there are 4 big people and more than 35 little people.

Commas matter, people. Just ask Grandma.

Do you have tips for room sharing, especially a teen with an infant/toddler?

We have had 2 different babies who have roomed with teens, and those are the sweetest relationships to watch bloom! I love to see how those teens grow attached to the babies who share their rooms. Even as those babies grow and become children approaching the “tween” years themselves, and move in with different roommates, they still share a special bond with that teen who originally shared their room as babies.

The only real tip I can think of is that we have moved the toddler out and in with siblings closer to her age whenever the toddler’s natural curiosity began to result in frustration for the teen in the form of torn up projects, ruined make-up, scribbled in books, etc.

How about more on shared rooms? Should there be one bedtime for that room? Can they keep their stuff private from each other? How? Can they keep other siblings (from different rooms) out of their room?

We have one bedroom that has 3 different bedtimes. Our children know that with age comes more privilege, as well as more responsibility.

Keeping their special things away from little hands is always a challenge, but we do discipline little ones who get into things that do not belong to them. Unfortunately, some little people are very tenacious and require multiple reminders before ceasing their raids.

We allow our children to tell other-room-dwellers, “I don’t want you to come in my room right now.”

How do you store bathtub toys? I have tried many systems, but the toys always wind up wet and slimy with mildew. And they are ALWAYS in the way! I consider throwing them all out, but they are so entertaining for the little ones!

I store them in the kitchen cabinets because our bathtub toys are cups and bowls. Except for the random Little Pet Shop toys, and those mostly sit on the edge of the bathtub when they are not on the floor waiting for me to step on them on dark nights during 4 a.m. kitten feedings.

Does anyone have a solution for this one? Please, do tell us in the comments!

My 2.5yo daughter keeps running from me. Everywhere. She thinks its a game, and funny, but I am afraid she will get lost or hit by a car, etc. I’ve tried reasoning, spanking and taking away privileges and nothing seems to work.

This is an important one because, as the questioner has touched on, it can involve danger. Some of my Facebook fans had some great answers!

I have practiced with my runners and my dawdlers who don’t want to come when I call. We make a “Simon Says” type of game out of obeying. I have all the children go around a corner and wait to see if they can hear me whispering their names. If they hear their name, they should come as quickly as they can. They think this is great fun!

I also make sure that the child understands the importance of obeying and I remind them that there will be consequences if they hear me call and they do not come.

Thank you for all of your questions! I get so many great thoughts and questions from y’all! I love it when everyone helps out and pitches in with solutions!

Now, I have a question for you. Have you downloaded this awesome Mother’s Day gift for yourself yet? This ebook bundle is over 90% off the original price, and the sale ends at 8 a.m. tomorrow, April 20! That means you have ONLY ONE DAY LEFT!

HURRY and pick up this inspirational, motivational, organizational tool for yourself. You won’t be sorry!

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Comments

  1. For the person whose two year-old runs away: I used to have this problem (she’s nearly thirty now!) and a partial solution, on familiar, local walks, was to have agreed ‘stopping places’. She was allowed to run ahead, but only to the next stopping place. She had some of the sense of freedom she wanted, and I had more peace of mind.

  2. On bathtub toys :-)
    I HATE mildew-y toys and I also don’t enjoy having them in plain sight (our “bath”room is the main restroom for the house) so here is what I do. Well, first one thing I DON’T do: I don’t buy any squeeze bath toys with holes in them (think Rubber Duckies) it is just too hard to get all the water out, we do have ducks and such but they are completely sealed -no water inside = no mildrew, yay!
    Ok, back to what I do. After bath time is over I rinse each of the toys (rather quickly) under hot running water and then lay them out to dry, usually on a towel on the bathroom floor but if it’s only a few toys the side of the tub will do. At this point the toys are in plain sight but only for a short time while they dry. When the toys are totally dry(okay maybe a drop or two remains) I throw them all into one of our large bathroom drawers(but a plastic bin put in a cupboard would do just as well).
    I think they key to winning the mold battle is for the toys to be dry when you put them away. Sometimes if bath time ends at a time when I don’t want the toys laying out to dry I will lay a towel in the tub itself and place the toys to dry there where I can just pull the curtain.
    So that’s our method and so far it’s working for us -the only moldy toys I have had in 5+yrs are ones we were gifted with those pesky holes in them -and those I throw out at the first sign of mold. :-)
    Happy Bathing!

  3. Yay! You picked my question! :D Thank you.

  4. For bathtub toys, I am like Jennifer above. I threw away all toys with holes as soon as mildew showed up. I reduced what we had down to one small baskets worth, and I purchased a plastic basket with large holes all around, including the base of it. This way, at the end of bath time, all toys can be tossed into the basket and left in the tub Things are tidied, water can drip out down the drain, and I pull my decorative curtain so that it’s all hidden. When everything is dry, if I feel so inclined, I can also tuck the basket under the sink out of the way.

    As to your question about the runaway toddler, I have had a few of those already, and due to how dangerous that is, I found the most effective tool was taking away the privilege of walking on their own. It means going from the van to either shopping cart or stroller, strapped in. They do not like this! I keep it up until I feel they have grasped the idea. Once I have decided to give them another chance, my rule is, if there is 1 infraction, they are back into the buggy, and so it goes. If walking alongside is the only choice, (no buggy space/other children) I require their hand on the buggy handle, just beneath mine, so that I have contact at all times, and can keep control of the situation. Graduating to hand on the buggy without mine on top, and then to walking alongside. This worked well for me and was the only way I was ever able to safely run errands back when I had 4 littles.

  5. For the last question, we play the Stop and Go game to teach the child to immediately stop at the sound of my voice. Here’s the link to how we do that –
    http://www.toliverstotexas.com/2012/04/crazy-notion-of-first-time-obedience.html
    AND it literally saved the life of one of my oldest children.

  6. I teach my kids that I don’t run. Period! Of course I would if danger was involved, Generally I know I have a runner before we hit a dangerous situation, so I don’t allow the option to exist. No free walking outside for these kids at all, until they stop this behavior. This might mean hand holding, carrying, stroller, shopping cart, straight from the car. Most kids that think this is a game look back for the follower(to make sure they are playing) If you ignore them(watch from the corner of your eye, but don’t play along the game ends on its own.(this works best in uncrowded stores or locations, train them in these uncrowded spots so that it is not an issue in other places.
    Eliminate tag from your home play, and other chase games, make sure it is clear that they are child games not adult/child chase games.
    Right now I have a one year old testing her limits. It can be trying but the most important key is consistency.

  7. I am visually impaired so a running toddler is simply not an option for me, if my toddler takes off I cannot see to find her again and if she dosen’t come to me when I call it will mean a trip to customer service and a speaker system announcment. It hasn’t happened yet, I’m sure it will one day, and I don’t think the kids will like what happens afterwards lol.

    I know some parents dislike these but I have a little animal backpack for my toddler with a cord attached and a handle I can hold. Until she is old enough to place other limits (she’s only 14 months atm with absolutely no interest in language, so I can’t instruct her to hold the trolley or other things like that, I’m lucky to get her to respond to her name!) she will wear this backpack, it allows some freedom, the cord is about a meter when I allow it’s full length, but keeps me in contact with her.

    When she’s older, I expect I’ll do as my mum did, hands on trolley until you’re old enough to trust to remove your hand. If you take your hand off the trolley you get put in the seat or have to hold mums hand or whatever. But until she’s old enough to communicate with me, she needs to be in some way restrained for her own safety. Luckly I can’t see the glares I’m sure I’m getting from other parents by having my child on a ‘leash’ heh.

    • I had a similar harness/leash system with my son who was a runner. We got glares and strange looks when out in public, but it kept him safe!

  8. About the bath toys, I also learned not to have squeeze toys with the hole in the bottom. I found a wicker basket in the garage to fit my sapace and we just toss them in after draining them. We don’t even bother to dry them since they dry in the basket and out in the light. We only have a very small collection.

  9. As for bath toys at my house, a friend gave me a couple of sets of bathtub toys ( I have a rubber duck, some little bowl things with holes, etc.). They came with a mesh bag that is supposed to stick to the wall. It did not stick for me, so I got a ribbon and hung it from the shower curtain pole and keep it all the way at the end pretty well out of sight. I must say, too many bath tub toys annoy me, so I only give my son a few to play with each night, and he gets excited when they come back through the rotation. This system has resulted in no slime or mold, and keeps them put away. I just put them back in the bag right after each bath.

  10. Shannon says:

    For the runners – our house is a big circle on the main floor, so my toddler will run if he thinks he’s in trouble. I know I will never catch him, so I stand still and tell him that his discipline is increasing every time I tell him to come and he doesn’t. Add time to his timeout, move up his bedtime, take away a cookie after dinner, whatever. Now my toddler knows not to run, or at least he comes the first time I say I’m about to increase his consequence. If they are running just because you are out for a walk and they want to run, I usually try to call them in a pleasant voice, instead of that voice that says they are in trouble. They are usually more willing to come back. Plus, that means they can run back and forth and get more running in. : ) It also helps to explain what places are ok to run around in (the park) and what places aren’t (the parking lot).

    As for bath toys, I agree about the squirty toys – they never get fully dry and are always full of mold. I just toss them in a plastic bin that has holes built in the sides, so they can air out, and they live under the sink in the bathroom. Sometimes the kids will put them on the tub wall shelf, and that’s fine with me, as long as they aren’t on the floor or full of water. : ) Now if only I can teach my young boys to flush the toilet and pick up their towels/clothes/etc! Haha!

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  1. [...] at Life in a Shoe talks about courtship, dental bills and diapers. Connie at Smockity Frocks offers room sharing and tub toy storing tips. Headmistress at The Common Room shares family [...]

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