The Forgotten Unicycle

*Warning: This is a collection of random bits of life happening at our house. No lessons or pieces of wisdom are contained therein.

  • I’ve decided to embrace the photo bombing obsession my kids have.
  • Our dairy goats are blind. We hope it’s a temporary condition. It seems that goat pink eye is very common (Who knew???) and it leaves its victims temporarily blind. If properly treated, the blindness ends (We’re still waiting…) and the infection clears up. We have been giving lots of shots to goats in the mean time. Have you ever tried to give a goat a shot? Let me tell you, it’s not as fun as it sounds.
  • The day after we got back from vacation, I took 2 very sick children to the doctor. While I was there, I got a call from home saying the baby was barfing everywhere. Can you guess how glad I am this did not happen until we were home from our road trip? There’s not much worse than a barfer in the backseat on a cross country road trip. Trust me on this one.
  • We got a new printer that I had trouble installing. When I called tech support the following scenario took place:

Tech support: This is Multi-Million Dollar Office Supply Company. How may we assist you?

Me: I can’t get my brand new printer to scan to my computer.

Tech support: I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: (Provides information requested.)

Tech support: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Tech support II: I see you are having trouble with your new printer. I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: I just gave all that information to the previous person on the line. Can you just tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?

Tech support II: (sighing heavily) Ma’am, we need this information in order to help you with your problem.

Me: (Repeats information, while rolling eyes.)

Tech support II: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Tech support III: I see you are having trouble with your new printer. I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: (ultra annoyed) I just gave all this information TWICE to the last 2 support personnel. Can you just PLEASE tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?!

Tech support III: Ma’am, we cannot proceed with the call until you give us the information requested.

Me: Okay, fine. What if my name is Bob I don’t have a phone number? What if I’m calling you from a pay phone? And I live in my car, so I don’t have an address either? If that were the scenario here would you be able to tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?

Tech support III: Ma’am, I can’t help you without the information I need.

Me: Why not? I mean, seriously, why do you need my address to tell me how to make the scanner work? Can’t you just read the little flow chart and tell me where I’m going wrong?

Tech support III: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Me: (Head bursts into flames and phone melts onto floor.)

  • My 15 year old son informed me that he thought it would be great fun to one day write a novel with a completely irrelevant title. He imagined his novel would be in the sci-fi genre and would be titled “When Zebras Snap”. The reader would get to the last paragraph on the last page, wondering the whole time when the revelation about zebras snapping would unfold, only to be befuddled, vaguely wondering if a page was skipped during the reading which would have made the meaning of the title clear. We both had a good laugh over this idea.
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Comments

  1. I love the book idea!!! That’s amazing!!

  2. Your son sounds like my kind of kid.

  3. I loved the unicycle! haha! =)

  4. Love the photo bombing picture! And your conversation about the printer is priceless. Love it.

  5. That phone conversation is too funny. I’ve had similar experiences with “tech support” people. ;)

  6. Haha…now I get the title of the post! ;)

    Have you tried putting goat milk in the goats’ eyes? Breastmilk (human) can clear up pink eye in a couple of days…so I wonder if that holds true of goat milk? Anyway, I hope your goats feel better soon.

    Hope everyone at your house is feeling better!

    Thanks for the great laugh on the tech support call….LOL!

  7. Try coconut oil in/on/around the eye. Works on cows, and humans!

  8. Hehe! This totally gives me the giggles :-)

    comeplayhouse.blogspot.com

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Your son’s book idea is a great one. However it will only work on people much less Alzheimerish than me because I may have read your whole post and completely forgotten the title. Then on my way to read another of your posts I saw the title and got the joke….. It was a good one by the way.

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