- Smockity Frocks - http://www.smockityfrocks.com -

The Forgotten Unicycle

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*Warning: This is a collection of random bits of life happening at our house. No lessons or pieces of wisdom are contained therein.

Tech support: This is Multi-Million Dollar Office Supply Company. How may we assist you?

Me: I can’t get my brand new printer to scan to my computer.

Tech support: I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: (Provides information requested.)

Tech support: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Tech support II: I see you are having trouble with your new printer. I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: I just gave all that information to the previous person on the line. Can you just tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?

Tech support II: (sighing heavily) Ma’am, we need this information in order to help you with your problem.

Me: (Repeats information, while rolling eyes.)

Tech support II: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Tech support III: I see you are having trouble with your new printer. I need your name, phone number, address, blood type, personality profile, and astrological sign.

Me: (ultra annoyed) I just gave all this information TWICE to the last 2 support personnel. Can you just PLEASE tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?!

Tech support III: Ma’am, we cannot proceed with the call until you give us the information requested.

Me: Okay, fine. What if my name is Bob I don’t have a phone number? What if I’m calling you from a pay phone? And I live in my car, so I don’t have an address either? If that were the scenario here would you be able to tell me how to get my printer to scan to my computer?

Tech support III: Ma’am, I can’t help you without the information I need.

Me: Why not? I mean, seriously, why do you need my address to tell me how to make the scanner work? Can’t you just read the little flow chart and tell me where I’m going wrong?

Tech support III: I’m going to need to transfer you. Hold please.

Me: (Head bursts into flames and phone melts onto floor.)