This week The 4 Moms of 35+ Kids are discussing how we handle things when husbands and wives have different standards.
My husband and I are both very opinionated and strong willed. These are awesome characteristics for us both to have when we are in agreement over an issue that seems to go against popular culture. Homeschooling is a good example of this. We both feel very strongly about it and even if the whole world were against us, we are just stubborn enough to keep doing it.
The problem comes when we are not in agreement over an issue. (See strong willed issue above.)
It has taken quite a bit of reading and learning and counseling, but we have both learned how to communicate our differing opinions in a non-confrontational way. Often we find that one of us feels much more strongly about an issue than the other, and the one with the least amount of interest willingly gives way to the other.
Sometimes we both feel very strongly in the opposite direction about an issue and somebody has to give in. In that case, the word of God trumps both of us.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24
That isn’t to say I always like it or have the attitude I ought to. I’m still working on that. What?! We’ve only been married 27 years! I need a lot of practice!
One example of how this worked in our family is the story of how I came to quit my job and become a stay at home mom.
I felt very strongly that God was calling me home, but my husband felt just as strongly that money doesn’t grow on trees, and we had committed ourselves to pay for cars and a house. Those payments weren’t going to get made without my income, so I submitted to my husband and kept right on working.
I prayed every single day of that difficult year, driving away from my baby girl, to and from work. I prayed for God to provide a way for me to quit my job and stay at home and that my husband would come to see things the way I did.
God is good and His ways are perfect. He changed our circumstances and my husband’s heart, and I have been at home for 16 years. We have never been without food or clothing and have been richly blessed over and over again.
Now, be sure to see how the rest of my 4 Moms team handle differences of opinions with their husbands.