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What Submission Looks Like in our House


When I saw that last week's 4 Moms assigned topic [2] was on how we deal with differences with our husbands, I groaned a little to myself. I know that submission is a sticky subject and can be divisive. I have dear friends on all sides of this issue, and I love them all.

Since books upon books have been written about the why, when, and wherefore on both sides of this topic, I don't think I can add anything that hasn't already been said. I would like to show you how it works for us in everyday life.

Here is what a wife submitting to her husband does not look like at our house:

Me: I sure would like a ham sandwich for lunch. I wonder if my husband would approve of my eating one. (Dials hubby's cell number to ask.)

Here is a real life example of what it does look like.

Me: I can't wait for our construction to be finished! But... what's up with putting a door right there?

Him: What do you mean?

Me: I mean isn't that a dumb place for a door?

Him: No it isn't.

Me: Yes it is.

Him: No it isn't.

Me: Yes it is.

Him: Well, it's going there anyway because if we ever remodel the kitchen I want to have an entrance there.

Me: Submits to husband.

I make many decisions throughout the day, and since my husband trusts me, I do not consult with him on many of those. If our washing machine springs a leak [3], I call the repair man. When I have the wacky idea to let my kids paint pictures on the bathroom wall [4] or write scriptures on the door frames [5], I hand them paintbrushes and Sharpies. When I find a new homeschool curriculum that I think will benefit the children, I order it. When I make income with my blog [6], I transfer some to our bank account, give some to the poor [7], and invest some back into my blog.

Being submissive to my husband doesn't mean I don't use my voice or my intellect. It means that my husband is the head of our home. Just as the president of a company delegates authority to his top level managers, my husband trusts me to run the home. But, just as the president of a company has the final say in the happenings of the company, my husband has final say in the happenings of our family.

And I submit to him when we differ.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24