More on Wholesome Talk and The Winter Summit

How is everyone doing on the 30 Day Wholesome Talk Challenge? If you would like to join, or just find out more about it, click the link above. Anyone can join at any time.

I am finding that I am accustomed to doing a LOT more complaining than I thought! I have had to stop myself mid-sentence a few times, and erase a couple of typed messages before they were sent.

I’m hoping it gets easier for me as time goes on, but for now I feel like someone might feel to have to finger spelling everything they say. I am deliberately thinking about every word, and frankly, it is exhausting!

My biggest revelation has been how often I ask questions, not for the purpose of finding information, but for the purpose of shaming or complaining.

“WHY didn’t you clean up this mess???” WHAT IN THE WORLD were you thinking???” “WHY is there a gob of peanut butter on the floor???” “WHO let the cat in???”

Those questions aren’t helpful, needful, or beneficial. While it is a mother’s responsibility to correct and train her children, I believe I can do it without all the unnecessary questions. It’s hard to break that habit, though!

After I blurted out those questions, I immediately said, “Never mind that. When you make a mess, you need to clean it up,” and “It doesn’t matter who let the cat in. Let’s all try not to let it happen again.”

I’ve been repeating in my head, “helpful, needful, beneficial… helpful, needful, beneficial…” all day long.

How are you doing on the challenge?

And now, in case you are thinking I probably exaggerated about how hard I laughed at the Homeschool Moms’ Winter Summit, here is a video from The Summit that may illustrate the funny!

If you would like to see what some other ladies have to say about this year’s Homeschool Moms’ Winter Summit, visit these blogs:

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Comments

  1. I wasn’t going to take The Challenge. I thought it was interesting, but didn’t feel like taking part. Well God had other plans. Everytime I opened my mouth The Challenge would come to mind. When unpleasant thought creep up I would think of The Challenge. So I’m in! I can’t wait to see how God is going to use this to grow us.

  2. Oh, wow, I LOVE that video and yes it had me belly laughing too! And, yes, I can relate!

    About the challenge, I’m finding similar things about myself. I didn’t realize how often I opened my mouth to say something negative and totally needless. It’s been exhausting for me too. But, hopefully, I can start a new pattern of being positive and finding something good to say even in situations that are less than desirable.

  3. I’m in, too. Thank you.

  4. Day 3 and I know this isn’t going to be easy for me, but I truly believe that it is worth the hard work! God has been laying it on my heart and drilling it into my head that what I profess to believe should be revealed through my behavior!! The mouth is a VERY revealing overflow of a heart I thought was in a lot better shape…this is a great exercise in discipline I hope remains.

  5. I also did not want to take the challenge-very difficult for me to hold my tongue….in fact been grumpy ever since I read your invitation. I think it’s because God is telling me to do it. So, I’m in.

  6. It is exhausting thinking about every word, but so worth it!
    I have realized that mornings are probably the hardest time for me to speak kindly. I am not a morning person and my kiddos like getting up before the sun. I’m happy to get up with them, but sometimes it takes a cup of coffee or two for me to remember that. :) I see that I need to do a whole lot less talking in the mornings from now on.

  7. That video is hilarious!!! I can totally relate. I’m in on the challenge.

  8. It was an oddly challenging day today, keeping up with the wholesomeness. Maybe it was because I am feeling better and actually interacting with my family today?

    Praying for all you lovely ladies out there! God sees your heart. ((Hugs))

  9. We are embarking on the end of day 1 and this has been hard. I mentioned on your invite post that it would be because of what I am dealing with. I have 4 boys under age 6, 2 of whom are autistic and their dad who was recently in an accident that was so bad he hung himself because he was in so much unmanaged pain. I know that I have been so stressed out and maybe lost my own way for a minute because I had so many people telling me that my Heavenly Father would not give me more than I could handle. Well, I feel like my plate is overflowing onto the table and spilling onto the floor. I noticed I was heading to a dark place and realized that my attitude, my reactions and how I was communicating with people was changing because I felt that no one was listening or helping when I was my calm, wholesome (but firm) speaking self. I started to feel that the only way to be heard was if I was talking and responding like many of the people I have had to come in contact with during this ordeal. But it was this morning when my boys told me that they were sad because I was so angry, wasn’t I trying to be like Jesus anymore? Remember Mommas, we are trying to be like Jesus; and follow in his ways. We try to love as he did, in all that we do and say. At times we are tempted to make a wrong choice, but just try to listen to the still small voice, “love one another as Jesus loves you. Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought, for these are the things Jesus taught.”

    Hard to do with all the evil coming against me but when my 6 year old Aspie can come to me with this I know I can. Thank you for the positive challenge. I can say that there was a lot less negative in our day today.

    • This is compiled with we just moved half way across the US for a career move. Sold almost everything we owned to do it. We do not have family here. So I just feel alone most of the time. But the boys are amazing and do keep me going. And my morning reading time helps. Thank you for being a part of that mental support system.

    • Smockity Frocks says:

      Oh, Amber! I am so sorry for your challenges. Keep up the hard work. I know your children will benefit from it.

      “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

      (((HUG)))

  10. I loved how in the video the girls are trying to brush out their ratted “homeschooler” hair.

    I’m not officially doing this challenge, HOWEVER on the very first day that you posted this I was in a really snippy mood and totally lost my cool and when “mama nutso” on the kids. Most of the time when I can tell I’m getting irritated I’ll say to them “Ok. I’m asking you in my nice voice. And this is the volume of voice I want you to listen to. Don’t make me ask in my mean voice.” But my fuse was very short and I went straight from “normal voice/language” to “I sound like a completely strung out crazy woman”. Anyways, all that to say I’m going to really try to not do that.

  11. When will this be over?! :)

    Today will be a hard day. We have some guests for the weekend that I find particularly difficult to lift up with my words. So this will be my test. If I can do this with mot only my words but my heart it’s all downhill from here.

    Thanks for the challenge! I’m right there with ya. Lisa~

  12. What a great challenge! It reminds me of the four gates of speech:
    1. Is it truthful?
    2. Is it necessary to say?
    3. Is it the appropriate time?
    4. Is it a kind thing to say?

    (Maybe an added challenge after this 30 days? ;) )

    Also wanted to pop in to recommend “Non Violent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg (I think that’s the correct author/title anyway!) and/or “What We Say Matters” by Judith and Ike Lasater–both offer some really helpful advice for practicing purposeful, non-violent communication.

  13. Day 4 and I am in touble! I’m learning a lot more about myself than I care to admit, because it isn’t pretty. I especially have a hard time when I’m not feeling well and/or “that time” hits. While my language isn’t the problem (although I slip now and then), my sharp and angry tongue is. The Lord definitely has some lessons here for me, and I thank Him and you for bringing this to my attention.

  14. Wow, I am totally seeing that I do the question thing to complain… a lot! My children are really busting me for it. Wednesday night my six year old asked our pastor to pray for my husband and I because when we fight we use bad words (aka unwholesome talk, not real cuss words)!!! I explained to our pastor that we are really working on only saying what is helpful and needed. You know how you have the Sheriff and the Informer? We have the Pharisee in our home.

  15. Day 4 and I have had my moments. But I have to give myself credit because I have not came uncorked today. Yesterday I did for just a minute…somehow this year my “superwomanmarypoppinsmarthastewart” self has just flown out the window. I have become a yeller. I don’t cuss really so that isn’t the real problem. I too have a sharp loud tongue now. I got really upset because the boys have almost all of their toys down stairs and not in the HUGE EXPANSIVE upstairs that we call their world. I only asked that they help me pick up some of it and put it in their baskets. They threw fits, became too tired, lost their super powers and all of this while whining and throwing tantrums. I began to yell and after a minute or two realized I was mirroring them and got a grip. I have done so good almost all my life surpressing this angry side of my that I break down after I am so mad. But today I caught it and that is a start. We sat down and talked about what we all needed to work on to not have the same situation keep happening. Hard with preschoolers but they knew I loved them from the talk.

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