What's the big deal about Young Living

4 Moms Answer Questions About Personal Space, 15 Passenger Vans, and Dawdling

It is time once again for questions and answers. The questions are from you and the answers are from 4 Moms of 35+ Kids. And you, if you would like to chime in below in the comments. Please, do, if you have something to add!

How do you deal with personal space issues with a 4 year old boy? — meaning that he is always touching other people or being far too close to their face when talking to them (and there is no eye sight or hearing issues).

I have not ever felt like we have this problem, but maybe we do and my friends are just waiting for me to peel my kids off them! :)

I have heard parents remind a child of his “bubble”. The idea was to illustrate personal space with the concept of being inside of a bubble that extends all around you at arms length. No one wants someone to come inside the bubble unless invited.

If someone invites you to hug them, they will usually put their arms out. Otherwise, they most likely do not want you in their bubble. “Remember your bubble,” was the gentle reminder I heard.

We have filled our mini van with kids. Where did you find your large vans? Do you know life expectancy of the big vans?

When we had no more available seats left in our Suburban and I was expecting our seventh baby, my husband contacted a friend who owned a used car dealership. He told his friend we were looking for a used 15 passenger van with low mileage, and the friend found one that had been used as an airport shuttle.

We kept waiting for it to be delivered, as promised, to our small town car dealership from the big city airport. We even planned a fun vacation half way across the country, and we were giddy with the thought of how roomy our new ride would be!

And then the week of our vacation arrived and… there was still no van! (Here is the story of that very smooshed trip.)

Our van is a 2001 model and has never given us a lick of trouble.

We keep the rear bench seat out so we will have cargo space. If all the seats are in, there is absolutely NO room for groceries or strollers. This still gives us 11 seats, and if we need more, we put that bench back in.

One thing to be aware of, though, is that since they have such a high center of gravity, the rollover rate is higher than with a traditional vehicle. Extra caution is needed when driving them.

How do you handle laziness or slow working? My daughter, 7, was told to clean her room today. It is a tiny room. It took her literally 4 hours to finish. I don’t know what to do anymore!

Is she playing in her room instead of cleaning it?

It sounds like you need to add an incentive to finish in a reasonable time. What about scheduling game time in one hour? Or announcing that at a certain time, anyone who is finished will be going out for ice cream? Or “movie time” starts in an hour and popcorn will only be passed out before the movie begins?

In this video on scheduling chores, I show our schedule and illustrate how our children have free time only after their work is completed. They know that if they dawdle, they are wasting the time they could be doing what they like better than the chore.

Now, be sure to check out what questions The Common Room and Life in a Shoe chose to answer.

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Comments

  1. I want to be like you when I “grow up,” Connie. :-)

  2. I wanted to chime in on the chores. I just read this interesting ebook called Headgates, which introduced me to a concept called ‘Family Work’. This is a set time everyday where you do family work. Naming it ”family work’ made a mental adjustment in everyone’s mind. We do about 2 hours of family work everyday where everyone works their little brithes off. It instills hard work. This is also a time for training children with adult living skillls. The author explains how to teach your children to do chores. She says that all children young and small can get overwhelmed at a new task regardless of the size. The first time you introduce it you do it with the child. Then you move to letting the child do it while you are near by and can give oversite. Then they graduate to doing it independently. When task is complete a child always comes report that it is finished and you you go check it. This has changed my children’s attitude toward chores. I’m not saying they love them, but they are more productive and timely now.

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