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A Day in the Life of a Preschooler

A day in the life of a preschooler

  • Wake and notice no one else is up yet.
  • Put on Winnie the Pooh costume. Leave pajamas on floor.
  • Go into kitchen to see what’s cookin’.
  • Open silverware drawer for no reason. Hang on it. Leave it open.
  • Take single bite out of apple. Note that it wasn’t as juicy as expected. Put apple back in fruit bowl.
  • Change into last year’s Easter dress. Leave Pooh costume on dining room table.
  • Hug kitty cat. Wonder if kitty cats can pop if squeezed very firmly.
  • Drop kitty and lick scratches kitty left on arm.
  • Wander into bathroom and “help” Mommy peel the stickers off the giant bandaids she keeps under the sink.
  • Change into gymnastics suit with leggings and snow boots. Try 12 times to throw Easter dress onto ceiling fan. Leave dress on floor.
  • Undress big sister’s American Girl doll.
  • Hear big sister coming. Drop doll and scram.
  • Disregard repeated signals from very full bladder that it needs to be emptied.
  • Pee in pants.
  • Strip naked. Leave wet clothes in pile on floor.
  • Painstakingly and carefully write name on bedroom wall from right to left in all caps. Remind self to deny writing name on bedroom wall.
  • Remember nudity is frowned upon. Put on swimsuit and tutu.
  • Go back to kitchen for more to eat.
  • Dump Lucky Charms on floor. Scoop handful from floor into bowl. Leave remaining Lucky Charms on floor. Leave bowl on fireplace.
  • Decide eggs would be “healFier” for breakfast than cereal. Go outside to collect eggs.
  • Get distracted by need to chase chickens.
  • Remember egg mission and try to ride tricycle up steps to hen house.
  • Ditch tricycle and go inside on foot. Hold edge of tutu with one hand and put eggs in with the other.
  • Trip while going down steps.
  • Smear smashed eggs off tutu while crying.
  • Spot one egg on ground that didn’t break open. Wipe tears with dirty hands and retrieve egg. Only 3 cracks!
  • Go inside and see that the numbers on the microwave clock say “7:02.” Time to wake Mama!
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Comments

  1. SO funny! But also…so true (and similar to what we have known over the years) it makes me cringe as I think about all the messes Mama has to clean. AHHHH!!!!!!!!! 😉

  2. LOL! This is why we don’t oil the kids bedroom doors:D I might have trouble opening my eyes in the morning, but I can hear the kids leave the bedrooms

  3. Sometimes I lovingly refer to my toddler as a “helicopter child” and can’t do anything without tripping over her, but at least I can put a stop to half of the messes and helpfulness!

  4. I laughed so hard at the end! :)

  5. Thank you for the wonderful laugh! We have two littles at the moment (3 and almost 2). They plot together, I know it! Never a dull moment for sure.

  6. Love this! Ha! No one told me before becoming a mom just how often I would be putting things away where they belong in the course of a day… clothing, silverware drawer, cereal, cereal bowl, fruit, cookie, toilet plunger, and (in my case) at least 486 cars/trucks/tractors/airplanes. I never envisioned just how often I would have to put the SAME thing away in the course of a day.
    Thanks for the smile and the clear understanding of my life.

  7. Jacqueline says:

    Oh my. this is HILARIOUS!!

  8. Oh my gosh! This is SO my 3.5 year old daughter! There are times when I seriously have no words for the things she does. Most times, she really, sincerely thinks she helping or “being a big girl” and I don’t want to crush her, but the messes…..THE MESSES! This must be what living in a frat house is like….

  9. This is my child in 1 yr. Any advice ?? ( besides hiding the “band-aids” 😉 )

  10. Hi, I’m new to your site, but I read this and I can totally sympathize! Makes me want to hide my head under the pillow. The messes!! Sounds like you’ve got one smart, busy girl on your hands. :)

  11. Jennifer says:

    Oh, I needed this laugh after my day. Two-year old gave herself and her four-year old sister haircuts. This reminds me that I’d better get off the computer and go to sleep so I’ll have energy to deal with whatever comes tomorrow!

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