It may or may not have recently happened that a certain young adult in our family became a nanny for the teen offspring of a celebrity couple.
Above mentioned young adult was commissioned to spend nights in luxurious mansion looking after said teen.
Said teen may or may not have taken it into her head that while naive young adult was on watch would be the perfect time to throw a covert overnight party, complete with boys and beer.
Young adult calls home around 10 p.m. when this plan was discovered, and in whispered tones asks how she should handle it. The very wise mother of the young adult encourages her to let the teens know that no such party would be allowed and they should all leave the premises pronto.
Young adult expresses that she is unsure she can muster the authority to enforce such action on a group of rowdy teens since she has no experience with this type of behavior and she is not more than a few years older than the teens herself.
Very Wise Mother instructs the young adult to listen to the tone of her voice and channel all the lectures she has ever been given by Very Wise Mother, march in to the party confidently with shoulders back, and with as steady a voice as she can fake, command the teens to leave.
Young Adult does so, but calls back to say the teen in her charge nervously tried to convince her not to set the security alarm because her mother “never does that.”
Very Wise Mother advises Young Adult that it sounds very much like Sneaky Teen was planning to continue her party after Young Adult went to bed, so she should definitely set the alarm and have a thorough look around teen’s room before turning in.
Around 3 a.m. Very Wise Mother gets a third phone call from Very Scared Young Adult notifying her that the security alarm is going off. Very Wise Mother tells Young Adult that she is sure a leftover teen partier has stayed in the house to continue the party, and that Young Adult must go to Rebellious Teen’s room to check it thoroughly, including under the bed and in the closet.
3:15 a.m. Young adult texts that everything is fine now.
3:30 a.m. – Fourth phone call. Another alarm sounds after Fake Asleep Teen pretends not to know what is going on.
Very Wise (and Mean) Mother strongly suggests Young Adult should call 911 since Fake Asleep Teen reported that she did not have anyone in her room, and that could only mean an intruder is in the house.
4:00 a.m. Fifth phone call to report the police came and checked the residence, not finding anything out of order. Very Mean, Sleepy Mother instructs Young Adult to phone Celebrity Mother to let her know what her darling has been up to. She also tells Young Adult to prepare to be fired for doing what was called for.
4:30 a.m. Very Worried Mother calls Weary Young Adult to ensure she is alright. All seems quiet in Celebrity Mansion and Young Adult assures Mother she can handle things.
8:00 a.m. Young Unfired Adult drives Grounded Teen to school in the Rich People Car and tells her to have a great day.
Did you enjoy reading this? Try the true story, “And Then A Scorpion Fell Out of My Pants.”