Would you like your child to feel that he is more revered than everyone else in the universe? Would you like him to demand preferential treatment? To believe he is a speshul snowflake, deserving of speshul status?
Easy! Follow these simple tips!
1. Give him his own present whenever anyone else gets one.
Brother’s birthday? He gets a present too. Best friend’s baby shower? He gets a present too. No one is ever more special than Li’l Junior!
2. Fix him a special meal when he doesn’t like what you prepared for the family.
You prepared spaghetti for dinner, but it makes him whine? Make him his own plate of food. Be sure to ask what he would like instead.
3. Encourage false talent.
Your kid can’t carry a tune in a bucket? Disregard that and demand that he is the lead in the Christmas musical.
4. Buy him a small gift or token whenever you go to the store.
He must feel that he is always deserving of gifts.
5. Allow him to attend the birthday party that the older sibling was invited to.
Be sure to ask for a party favor for him too.
6. When throwing a tantrum, the best way to stop it is giving him the candy he wanted but you originally denied.
Curtail this behavior by not denying his requests. Ever.
7. Blame everyone and everything else for a fault or failure.
Didn’t finish homework? The teacher gave too much and brother was too loud so she couldn’t focus. Lost a friend? Wasn’t worth having if they couldn’t see past the rude/arrogant/unfair behavior to the wonderful person she REALLY is.
8. Always do for him what he can do for himself.
If he asks for a drink while you are cooking dinner, stop what you are doing to get it for him, even though he is perfectly capable of getting it himself.
9. Never make her clean up her own messes.
She tires easily, you know.
10. Don’t follow through on consequences, and often make idle threats.
11. Force other children to give over their toys to him.
Whether they were playing with it at the time is irrelevant.
12. Acknowledge him when he interrupts a conversation to show him that what he says is more important than what you were listening to.
13. Always take his side when any other adult calls him out for a disciplinary issue.
Alternately, hand him excuse after excuse as to why he “can’t help” his behavior.
14. Don’t allow him to face disappointment.
He missed the deadline for turning in the extra credit that qualifies him for a special prize? Put the finishing touches on it, and drive it up to the school yourself.
15. Make sure everyone on his team gets a trophy the same size as the team who won first place.
16. Don’t ever make him wait to be served.
You don’t want him to become hungry. That makes him cranky.
17. Don’t make him serve others.
This will only make him feel that others could possibly be more deserving than he is.
18. Always say “please” in a begging tone when requesting anything of him.
If he refuses, let it go immediately.
19. Whenever a classmate or friend gets a new toy, run right out and get your child one too.
Make sure it is the newest model.
20. Never, ever criticize his efforts or let him know you expect him to try harder at something.
Pretending not to notice half-hearted attempts is best.
21. Overpraise everything she does, whether it is excellent or not.
You can barely read the essay she wrote for English class? Tell her how creative she is at spelling!
22. Always stop what you are doing whenever she addresses you.
Never make her wait until you are through with a task.
23. Always excuse bad behavior.
“He was probably hungry. The low blood sugar makes him cranky,” is a good standby.
24. Never make him answer for his own poor choices.
Step in to explain for him.
25. Go into debt buying a new car when he turns 16.
Make sure it is the model with the usb port for charging his iPhone.
By following these simple steps consistently you will soon have a child who believes his needs and wishes are superior to the needs and wishes of those around him!
Now, go give your little narcissist a hug. And a prize. Preferably a toy.
If you liked this post, you may also like “10 Signs Your Child is Spoiled and What to do About it.”