When Mama Explores Her New MacBook

When Mama gets a new MacBook Pro for an anniversary gift, she must get the teen daughter to set it up for her. The teen daughter then shows Mama the coolest part of having a MacBook.

Do you have a Mac? What are some things I should explore? I mean, besides the “alien” setting in Photo Booth…

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For the Love of Laughter

I love to laugh. I love to hear other people laughing.

And I’m pretty sure it runs in the family. This is my Uncle Calvin. Some of us say he resembles a garden gnome. So, for the love of laughter, he posed for this picture. I’m pretty sure that makes him the most awesome uncle ever.

And then there’s this. We laughed and laughed over this graphic my 13 year old made in her free time.

Yep. Pretty sure the love of laughter is in my bloodline.

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How to Talk Like a Texan

  • Pecan = “Puh – CAWN”. Anyone who says “PEE – can” is clearly not from Texas.
  • Grandma = “Gram – MAW”, not “GRAM – muh”
  • Grandfather = “PAW – Paw”
  • Almost to the point of = “Fixin’ to”
  • Everyone here = “All y’all”
  • Get = “git”
  • Pen = “pin”
  • Shopping cart = “buggy”
  • Lots of stores in one place = “Thuh MAWL”
  • Any soft drink = “Coke”. Calling it “pop” or “soda” is a dead giveaway you’re not from Texas.
  • The letter after V = “Dub-ya”
  • The petroleum industry = “Thuh OLL bidness”

Can you add any Texas pronunciations or phrases I missed?

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Hilarity – It’s All in How You Slice It

If you know me, you know I love to laugh. My family jokes that I will laugh at anything, and my friend Angie, from Many Little Blessings,  has taken up the challenge and proven this by leaving me in tears with just one word.

What? I enjoy laughing. Is that so wrong?

That’s why several members of my family and I were incapacitated for too much of the afternoon from laughing over the reviews of this banana slicer at Amazon.

This is just a portion of my favorite review:

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. “Shoot it with a gun!” Background check…HELLO!

I am telling you, if you like to laugh and you have time on your hands, go straight to the banana slicer reviews. You can thank me later.

Now, if only I had owned a banana slicer, my 15 second homemade baby food making video would have taken half that time!

*As with all review sites, some of the content is not rated G.

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And Then She Asked For a Donkey for Christmas

Do you ever feel like you are living in The Truman Show? Like in order for your life to be this wacky, surely to goodness someone is filming it for the entertainment of others?

Yesterday during breakfast, I heard screams from three little girls, “MOMMY! There are donkeys on our front porch!”

These are our neighbors’ donkeys which occasionally find their way through our fence. I thought this was a funny coincidence, since I had just had a discussion with my 11 year old about the unlikelihood of finding a donkey under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.

“That’s okay,” she said.  “Since it would be hard for you to wrap a whole donkey and put it under the tree, you could just get a box of donkey poop and wrap it up and I would open it up and know that there would be a donkey with a big bow on its neck waiting out front just for me.”

“You want me to… wrap up a box of POOP… and put it under the Christmas tree???”

She thought for a second and amended her request. “Okay wrap up a halter, and I’ll know about the donkey.”

I told her the neighbors had 5 donkeys and she had even been there when the littlest one, Eva, had been born. She could just go out into the woods every day and pet Eva and pretend she was her donkey.

“That isn’t the same as my own donkey.” She said.

I told her she might as well set her mind on something else for Christmas because I was pretty positive Daddy would not go for a donkey.

So when I saw these donkeys out front this week, I said, “Hey Adrienne! You got your wish! There’s a donkey out front waiting for you and I didn’t even have to wrap up a box of poop!”

I keep looking for those Truman Show cameras.

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In Case You Think I Exaggerate the Crazy

Earlier this week, I posted the following status on my Smockity Facebook page:

You know you live in Wacky Land when you overhear the following:

16yo: “Why is Katherine carrying around a live hamster on a plate?”
Everyone else: Disregards and continues dancing to Christmas music.

It actually crossed my mind that someone might think I make this stuff up. I mean who carries around a hamster on a plate?

That’s why I whipped out my cell phone to document what I saw when I pulled into my driveway yesterday.

I present to you Two Rodeo Queens With a Wagon on a Trampoline. (Email readers may need to click through to the post to view the video.)

Do not doubt the crazy, people.

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